Cross-posted from Day 71- Exploring Self-Responsibility
I have noticed a tendency within me to want to cover all bases in terms of my self-development so that I don’t have to have uncomfortable interactions with the people in my environment. I want to know myself and how mind consciousness systems in general, work, so well that no unforeseen circumstances can come up within which I don’t already have the answer. I suppose common sense would have informed me that “nothing good comes easy” and to avoid difficult situations in my life is an unrealistic goal. This hasn’t stopped me from experiencing the desire to bypass difficult] situations and sort of just ride this wave of positive energy where I don’t experience discomfort or come into conflict with my environment.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire to avoid uncomfortable situations
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that my desire to avoid uncomfortable situations comes from comparing myself to others who I perceive as having easier lives than me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame my parents for not gifting me an ‘easier’ life
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame my parents for ‘forcing’ me to experience uncomfortable situations by some shortcoming of their own, instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that I have created myself into the situation and person I am today, and so all experiences I have have been created by me and are my responsibility alone
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I do not deserve to speak up for myself when I am uncomfortable with some aspect of a situation, instead of seeing, realizing, and understanding that my perspective is valid and I have a right to communicate my problem with a situation
When and as I see myself desire to avoid uncomfortable situations, I stop and I breathe. I see, realize, and understand that pain and discomfort are teachers, and that repressing my impetus to say/do something about the situation is not an acceptable solution which is best for all, but rather allows the situation to continue without anyone taking responsibility for it
When and as I see myself not realize that my desire to avoid uncomfortable situations comes from comparing myself to others, I stop and I breathe. I see, realize, and understand that regardless of the different backgrounds each person comes from, I am still responsible for directing situations that happen to me to an outcome that is best for all
When and as I see myself blame my parents for ‘forcing’ me to experience a difficult situation, I stop and I breathe. I see, realize, and understand that I am responsible for the situation I am in today, as I am responsible for me
I commit myself to allow pain and discomfort to be teachers
I commit myself to direct situations to an outcome that is best for all
I commit myself to live the understanding that I am responsible for me in every moment of breath
