There are a lot of theories. An evidence-based explanation as to why so many people who live regular lives (on the surface) delve into a taboo practice is yet to appear. It does not surprise me. Carnal behaviour and everything to do with the human psychology has always been one of the most bewildering science that can never be pinned down.
Just like the Ghost Pepper we often find many things that give us more pleasure than it does pain. A milky tooth, for example, hurts in a good way to nudge it. A roller coaster ride gives an adrenaline rush in the face of certain death. Bungee jumping, car racing, cave diving, the list goes on.
There is a common theme among everything that feels good in place of bad. It is freeing. I often talk about embracing pain instead of running away from it. That is because once you have embrace pain you feel a sense of freedom that cannot be found in any other way. That is what masochism is to me - freedom.
Apart from engaging in a power exchange with another person, which is incredibly fun, there is a very powerful sense of control. Control over pain and emotion. It is an astonishingly authoritative sensation. Grasping an emotion of that magnitude allows me to enter a state of mind which is liberated and disentangled.
With great power comes great responsibility. The mind is liberated from all worries of the world and the things that are almost never in control. While many see this as hurtful and degrading, it is rather the complete opposite. Masochism is empowering and enabling. It is relaxing to be in a position where you dictate the limits and boundaries and can enjoy every single second of it with complete trust and surety.
The practice of masochism is art. It is for each to discover and make meaning of it. For some it is therapy. For some it is a drunken memory. For some it is an experience struck off from the bucket list. For me it is freedom. I have lived through enough pain and humiliation to realize I will now control and enjoy it. So what if I fulfil my wishes sexually?
