I hate myself when I am angry and I think most of us hate ourselves when we are in that situation. Though there are times wherein it is helpful ( especially at work since I can focus on the task as I am not doing the usual chitchatting with everyone more often than not anger is not something that I do entertain.)
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It is a natural human emotion that can be healthy and motivating, but it's also an energy that can easily turn destructive if not handled in a healthy way. As I try to learn the philosophy of Stoicism lately my responses to outside forces are somehow lessened. I am not living the zen life but I guess I am 1% better than I was a year ago.
Angry outbursts are a normal part of life—and they happen to everyone. But there's a difference between an occasional flare-up and an all-consuming rage that takes over your life.
In this blog post today I will be sharing some of the tips that I do practice and follow to at the very least avoid the backlash of me exploding.
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Take three breaths, then take a moment before you react.
Breathing exercises can help you calm down, think more clearly, and prevent an angry outburst. They're easy to do and can be done almost anywhere.
To achieve these benefits, take three slow breaths in and out. Repeat this three times. Then, take a moment before reacting to the situation at hand. This breathing technique will give you time to think about how best to handle it without losing control of your emotions or causing harm to others.
I remember when I was working with a credit card collections campaign years ago. A caller asked why they cannot use their credit card inside the store. The cashier kept on swiping but it always get declined. Little does she know that her payment was delayed for a week already and because of that her card is placed on suspended status. She insisted on paying the minimum amount which is $25.00 as she needs to pay for her $500.00 worth of stuff in a store. Immediately I acknowledged her intention to pay and advised her that even though we process it still she will need to wait for the funds to clear in the system for roughly 24 to 48 hours since it was Friday and banks do not operate during weekends.
The call drag everyone and she had been shouting at the top of her lungs already saying how incompetent we are. Though the main issue was her delaying at least the minimum payments.
Trying to remain calm as much as I can I breathe in and breathe out pushing the mute button on the side as I try to collect myself. I love my job so I should not fight her back with an aggressive tone though I am on the verge of exploding.
The ending went sour, she requested for her card to be canceled and I sent her over to the retentions team to process the cancellation. 😏 good riddance
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Be specific about what you're angry about.
The first step to getting angry without losing it is learning how not to generalize. Don't make assumptions or assign blame when you're angry, and don't be vague about which person or situation you're talking about. If you're going to get mad about something, don't use "you" statements like "You always do this!" Instead of blaming someone else for causing your frustrations, focus on what's actually happening at the moment.
Also avoid inflammatory language—words that are intended to incite anger or violence—or emotional language: words that convey an intense emotionality such as hatefulness or misery.
Avoid "you" statements.
You might be thinking, “But what about those times when I really want to tell someone off?” If you feel like yelling at someone or saying something hurtful, try using “I” statements instead of "you" statements. Here’s an example:
Instead of saying: “You never listen to me!” say: “I feel frustrated when we don't talk about my feelings.”
Instead of saying: “You are so rude! You have no right to criticize my parenting!” say: “I am sad and upset that we disagree on this issue. Let's find a solution together.
These are the stuff that I can share on managing anger, most of the time such are coming from years of experience being the customer service industry wherein we are told to remain patient as much as we can. Though there are a ton of times that I lashed out while pressing the mute button working and finding a way to handle such will keep you sane and secured to your job.
As always do not die
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