Hello hello!
this morning I woke up with another inspiring thought... "My Ego fooled me once again" 😂
While I thought I got pretty aligned with my soul.. That the path I was following was the right one and I just had to push through on willpower.. Well there is such a thing as "Trauma based believes and actions".
Earlier this year I seems to be great to follow a course Ukrainian for several reasons. One of them is almost 20 years old, at that time it sounded great (for the same reason I started this time hahaha). Another reason back in 2005 I visited Kyiv and I never felt so safe, it was like coming home and maybe not so obviously my Grandpa spend a part of his childhood in one the camps in Ukraine during the second world war.
So I have a few lines connected to that wonderful country and my ego knows that. And we all know what Ego does and likes. The ego likes to play and challenge us, drift us apart from our core being. And yeah once again I felt into this ego-trap...
How did I realize it was my ego playing me? That's almost to easy😂
The moment I realized I was pushing, I told almost everyone I met that I was learning Ukrainian, because my soul found it a good thing to start now...
This was my clue, my doubt. Why do I need to broadcast that I am learning Ukrainian? And mostly why can't I feel what I am saying? Who wants me to learn Ukrainian? Who's mess am I cleaning up? And wouldn´t it be easier to have Ukrainian spoken people in my circle, why am I doing this again?
Besides that I wasn´t aligned. One lesson, takes me almost 8 hours a day to learn, speak and write Cyrillic. Which means doing at least 2 lessons a week, takes me 16 hours for both lessons to master. It is exhausting and I am all ready 4 lessons behind.. Something didn´t add up
Learning the language or at least the Cyrillic alphabet feels right. It is just not the right time.
Is it wasted time? Certainly not. It was a lesson I needed to learn and sure there's plenty more to come. As long there is karma, trauma, trans-generation trauma or karma involved. I am taking those lessons by heart. It not only me who I am healing, it's also my current, past and future family-line 😄
Up for another challenge and undoing the believes I am imprinted with!
Cheers and enjoy your week!
Timothy
Copyright picture: Picture is taken with my phone
