Helloooo dear Hiveans!
as you probably have read in the last few posts. This whole heart connection is bringing me to the next level of consciousness.
Being fully aware of the duality inside me, is challenging and confusing.
Dark vs Light. The old ancient battle between good and evil right inside my own awareness, inside my body and spirit.
Today I felt I could try an Avocado. For many it's normal to eat healthy vegetables and fruits, for me it used to be an huge challenge with my hyper-sensitivity too everything from mother nature.
The day before yesterday I bought one avocado. Just for trying out and waiting for the right moment to enjoy this piece of "new" fruit.
So the first small bite (a teaspoon), made almost every muscle in my body contract. Like "WTH are you giving me now".. Then it was like.. uhm 'what a strange texture' 'this taste... mmh nut-like and fresh' and 'oke, this is an avodaco and it is healthy for me'.
Will having this wild experience, a few emotions came up. My mouth started to itch, I experienced (the mind game) difficulty in breathing and on the other hand, there was soooo much joy, that my body wanted to scream and shout of happiness... As you can read, it was a very confusing state of being present.
The emotions I felt, weren麓t mine. It was grief from my grandparents (transgenerational trauma/epigentics). Like wow.. this isn麓t mine.. cool! With so much love inside my heart, I could let this part go. And enjoy the avocado.
Although eating avocado pure and raw.. its not very tastefull xD I received some suggestions to put in on a toast with salt or have it as a side dish... I am a bit 'weird' in a certain way. :-)
I always thougth that the allergies and intolerance I experienced where mine alone. Some left over from my childhood or from another life. I never thought it would be from an ancestral line. Which makes it more curious, as the past week, I had a theme about 'is this from me, is it from somebody else or is it a projection'.
Like I went for another practice room review. While sitting in the train I experienced a 'job interview fear'... I was like, wth, where does this come from and why is my 'I am not OK' program booting up.
While sitting in the train, I checked within in myself. My inner child was joy-full and happy. And there was this other entity projecting fear and self-doubt. Like wth..
When you become aware of you surroundings, your inner world and embraced the whole Multi-dimensional part of your self. There are many many, more sensations you experience. Like this 'demon' like figure I had to purge out. I want to grow and embody my heart-frequency, there is no place for fear, self-doubt or self-hatred.
I choose my heart and had a wonderful loving meeting, completely in surrender mode. I really don't mind the outcome, everything is as it should be. Do feel a certain pressure, sure. And that's oke, it keeps me focused, but I won't let it control me.
In a similiar way this was my experience with the Avocado as well :-) I just have to take my time, to let my body adjust to these new nutrition. All ready having the idea, that I live on Prana the past few weeks. With such a major change in my eating pattern, I should have at least lost 5-6 kilo's. 3 weeks on just a few vegtables, eggs, rice and some yogurt... I used to eat a lot of meat and like 2-3 plates for dinner. Now it's not even 1 plate.. And still I didn麓t lose much weight, 1kilo in three weeks. So yeah, love and prana keeps me alive and kicking! xD
See ya at the next post!
Timothy
Avocado image | License: Creative Commons 4.0 BY-NC
