I remember the first time I cooked rice. It was so horribly sticky and icky my aunt laughed and called it bambiala rice. The first time I attempted to drive I burned out the clutch and my uncle was asking if everything was alright with me and my ancestors. I was sent to buy something by my mother worth 10 Naira (this was years back when that money till made sense) and I told the guy that the cost was 20 Naira. I wondered why he laughed at me till I got home and my mother screamed and laughed, asking me if I was a rich man to be dashing out money. Luckily the man was honest and didn't take the extra 10 bucks. First time I saw a girl I liked, I didn't understand the way I was feeling. It was like I had headache, malaria and stomach upset. I suddenly also developed long and short sightedness as when she was near me, I would not be seeing clearly. That's why I would bump into things like desks, walls and even other people. That is even when I could walk. Many times I couldn't move. And just stood there like uncle Rocha's next statue, blinking like a faulty traffic light. Sometimes I didn't even remember my name till she had gone. I remember the first time I asked a girl to be my girlfriend. I remember how I was swallowing so much spit, I'm surprised I had any left. Thankfully she said yes. Let's not talk about the day I realized how appealing the female form was and it's effects on mine. You're all too young for that kind of discussion. Please move on to the next sentence. Thank you. Like many people out there my first tries and experiences at many things were beautiful disasters, shocking moments and often very embarrassing. This is quite natural and expected. There is a place for learning and discovery in life and it covers everything from love to puberty and yes, even work and faith. I've found that we are often too hard on ourselves when we don't get something at once. Pressure from society to be the perfect alpha males and females don't help matters, and it's worse when we have parents and/or siblings burdening us with more pressure. You have to pass WAEC and JAMB one time. You can never repeat a class. It is a shame so pass everything at once. Cram if you have to. You don't need to learn or be changed per se. Just focus on passing. Never make a mistake telling a girl you like her and want to date her. It must be perfect or she'll say no and your life will be over. You just got married, make wedding night be hot as hell. Give him all the styles or he'll go out that night and do it with Felicia. In fact they will do everything you did not do plus one corner dance in bed. We have all these weird ideas about instant perfection and success and it is poured into everything we do...and we become miserable when we fail. My aunt laughed at my rice but I tried again because I needed to learn and wanted me to get it right. On my second try, I did it better. By my third try, it was really good. Did doing it thrice make me less than the person who got it right the first time? Does your first relationship failing or not passing those exams make you hopeless and a fool? Do they really determine your value and life's purpose? If we're honest they don't, but we're so afraid of getting it wrong, how it will feel and what people will say. I'm not saying don't care to get things done. I'm saying don't get so caught up in this rat race and trying to ace everything on day one you forget that life is also about failing, re - learning, trying again, trying other methods and growth. I'm saying don't just focus on the destination but think also on the journey of discovery and it's beauty. I'm saying don't get so caught up with living life and attaining goals, that you don't actually enjoy life at all because you're so into "expert timing" and standards you don't need.
