Crumbling is just not an option for me.
So I brush myself off and get back up to continue fighting for the bigger picture. It's a grand picture and it's so far down the line, not realistically attainable by just one Spoonie like myself, but I'm fighting to find answers about CRPS. I want to know WHAT happens to create this incredible dysfunction. It can't just be that I fractured my arm and boom, CRPS is going to take over my life and body.
Why doesn't everyone with fractures and broken bones have it consume them for the rest of their lives?
I fell on snow and caught myself with my arm so I didn't hit my head like I have in the past. The instinct to catch myself COMPLETELY changed my life. I should have just hit my head, whiplash only affected me for 14 months last time.
So, over the past week I realized how poor I am destined to be during this transition of traveling pain to my legs without a nurse for treatment. The very legs that get me to, from and around work. I'm broke and broken, officially now more so than ever. I can't dwell. It's not going to make me rich or pain free, it will only take away from the current moment. I need to make the best of each minute, because it is legitimately helping rewire my brain when dealing with normal circumstances.
The new circumstances are the ones I'm having difficulties dealing with, but that's ok. One step and one day at a time.
The 2nd Annual Walk to Conquer CRPS is officially wrapped up online, thank you all for helping us raise $705 digitally! Our grand total is $1,900 for the year, bringing the two year total to $2,900 raised for CRPS Medical Research <3 !
Not bad at all <3
Me and my Soul Sister have a lovely project on the go that is going to help us and other warriors thrive for better days. I have a support group to organize and am slowly building the foundation to something bigger than myself. It's wonderful to think of all of the things I want to do as one Spoonie, but I can't help but imagine what COULD happen if I dreamed a little bigger, worked a little harder and pushed beyond my limits a little more.
So, there are a few things coming up and I am incredibly proud of the steps I have taken so far. Even if my right arm and both of my legs are consumed by fire breathing CRPS dragons.... (That little visual made my medicated mind happy).
On that note, I have to get ready for work while I can. Make today a great day with positive thinking and be kind to your mind everyone <3
Positive thoughts,
-Kristen Sparkle
Day 169/365 (Time is flying by!)
Entry 77/183
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