The weekend was filled with lots of laughter and fun, just like I had hoped. My step daughters and I decorated a beautiful, rather large, home cut Christmas tree :) It was the first time in 32 years that I have a Christmas tree up before Christmas Daddies, but it was needed.
Physically, I have been dealing with something happening to my neck where my damage is, herniated c4 through c7 discs and herniated c7 nerve. I haven't been able to sleep and I think the stress of today might be adding to it.
Today I have another unknown appointment at the pain clinic. I say unknown because I don't think it's going to be the same doctor I met before, I'm not sure if they are going to have my file, I'm not sure if they are going to just examine me or if I am going to get treatment today? If I am, what type of treatment? My ativan prescription (From 8 years ago) finally ran out in August and I am terrified of needles. Especially epidural sized needles in the neck. My family doctor prescribed me 5 of them for the purpose of procedures, but the pharmacist didn't have a prescription for my name. My luck is not the best.
I have gone through 4 pain specialists so far in the past almost 3 years. 2 of those doctors have been understanding and wanting to help- but 1 of them retired and one lives in Toronto. My 1st pain specialist had to let me go as a patient after a year of treatments and no progress, he wished me luck at least. 1 literally asked me what I expected her to do about my problems and told me not to worry because CRPS almost always goes away in 6 years... (FOR THE RECORD-CRPS HAS NO CURE. IT'S NOT KNOWN TO JUST.. GO AWAY.. COMMONLY)
It's hit or miss on hope and fear for what to expect with this doctor.
The last doctor in that clinic (the Dr. from Toronto) scheduled me for 5-6 weeks of Lidocaine infusions and then the nurse went on maternity leave after my first. I haven't been seen since August. My symptoms are more bizarre than ever and I'm not sure what is going to happen today. Treatment? Another consultation?
My nerves are already damaged enough, this stress is silly.
I wrote out my medical history again to give to this doctor and hopefully they will not look at me like I have two heads.
What a feeling.
On that note, I have to get myself and my file together for my mother in law to pick me up. Wish me luck and positive thoughts :)
December is going to be productive and positive.
Be kind to your mind and make today a great day with positive thinking.
Positive thoughts,
-Kristen Sparkle
Day 246/365
Entry 113/183
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