I build slowly, and I am beginning to understand that the life I want will eventually ask me to rely on things I cannot improvise at the last moment,
I build slowly, and there is a part of me that still wishes I could arrive with enough capability through desire alone without passing through all the repetitions,
I build slowly, and sometimes the quiet preparation feels invisible precisely because its best evidence is what I am able to handle later without falling apart,
I build slowly, and can I keep respecting what is being built even when I cannot yet see the what is really becoming,
I build slowly, and perhaps the strongest parts of me will be the ones I developed long before I knew exactly why I would need these skills all along…
I keep showing up, and the ordinary return begins my own kind of evidence that I am no longer waiting for motivation to still continue this creative journey,
I keep showing up, and I still have days when I would rather feel inspired than do the small thing that keeps the next big thing alive,
I keep showing up, and the difference is becoming quieter now because I am less interested in proving that I can begin and more interested in becoming someone who continues regardless of the results,
I keep showing up, and can I keep choosing the next small act when nobody is forcing me and nothing dramatic is happening,
I keep showing up, and what once depended on excitement begins finding its strength in the fact that I returned even when excitement did not…
I become steadier, and I notice that preparation has changed the way I meet difficulty because I no longer need every hard moment to feel like pure emergency,
I become steadier, and I still feel the fear when something larger than my experience arrives but it no longer has to convince me that any of these are related to my worth,
I become steadier, and the work I once thought was delaying my life begins looking different when I see how much of my future depends on what I practice before I need it,
I become steadier, and can I trust the person I am building even when the challenge arrives before I feel completely prepared on solving it…
I become steadier, and perhaps readiness is not knowing that nothing will shake me but knowing I have given myself something solid to return to even when one doesn’t work out…
I willingly meet what comes, and I want to believe I will recognize the moment because I am perfectly prepared but life rarely arrives in the shape I previously rehearsed,
I willingly meet what comes, and the preparation matters differently now because it does not give me control over what happens but gives me more of myself can offer and bring into it,
I willingly meet what comes, and I can feel the difference between wishing I were ready and having quietly practiced enough that I do not have to begin from nothing,
I willingly meet what comes, and can I trust what I have built without demanding that it guarantee how everything will unfold by perfectly,
I willingly meet what comes, and I finally understand that preparation was never meant to predict the future, only to make sure I am not meeting it empty-handed…
Watchwords:
The life I want will eventually ask
The quiet preparation feels invisible
The ordinary return begins becoming evidence
Something solid to return to
I am not meeting it empty-handed
Here is Tikatarot, who dares you to answer the question, “Who am I?”..
As and will always be reminding you to dream: