Sometimes I wonder why
Why I for one live like tiptoing spy
Why I can't afford to love anyone yet
Will I even love my future pets?
Sometimes I understand why
Why I ended up this broken
Why some things can never be spoken
But is this how I really want to all die?
Sometimes I guess why
Why I am so disconnected
Why I can't be easily reconnected
Bet I am yet to eat the forgiveness pie.
Sometimes I think that
Red should represent my sins less
My blood harbours too much darkness
I still don't know where my redemption at.
Sometimes I chose to indulge
Deep in the pits of unresolved pain
Weep to escape it all again
Ask not where I keep the urge.
Sometimes I punish my soul
Denying it the peace it deserves
Refusing the love it readily serves
Now I am here dealing with this hole.
Sometimes I feel the weight
The heaviness of my own racing thoughts
Ruthlessly tying my spirit up in knots
Till depression has me as bait.
Actively looking for self. They say that total freedom is a daily battle internally and externally. We can never experience it unless we learn to find ourselves. I am on a journey to total freedom and acknowledging my present demons is a significant component of this pilgrimage. Won't you walk with me?
**Cross Posted**
BQ.