Hello Hives,
I have been thinking about something lately.
Sometimes, we hold people too tightly, not because we don't love them, but because we are afraid of losing them.
And I honestly think most of us have done this at one point or another.
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When someone means a lot to you, it is normal to become scared of what life would look like without them. You start wanting to know everything. Where they are. What they are doing. Who they are talking to. You want to be sure that nothing is coming between you and that person.
But is that really love?
The older I get, the more I realise that there is a difference between loving someone and being attached to them.
Attachment says, "Don't leave me."
Love says, "I want you to be happy, even when I cannot control everything."
That is not always easy.
Marriage has taught me that people need space too. When you are building a home and raising children, there are already so many responsibilities. Sometimes you want everything to go exactly the way you planned it, but life doesn't listen to our plans.
I have had my own difficult seasons too. There have been times when work was not going well, money was tight and I had no idea how certain things would turn out. During those moments, I learned that holding on too tightly does not always solve anything.
Sometimes, you just have to breathe and trust God.
I think relationships are the same.
If someone loves you, you should not have to spend every day trying to keep them from leaving. You should not have to control them just to feel secure.
People are not prisoners.
They have their own minds, dreams, choices and freedom too.
Of course, I am not saying we should stop caring about the people we love. Far from it. I care deeply about my family, and my wife and children are a huge part of why I keep pushing even when life gets tough.
But I don't want the love in my home to come from fear.
But instead, I want it to come from trust.
Sometimes you have to open your hands and let people breathe.
Let them fly.
If they truly love you and want to be part of your life, they will not need to be forced to stay. They will come back because they want to, not because you held them so tightly that they had no choice.
And if they don't come back, it will hurt. I won't pretend otherwise.
But maybe some people are only meant to be part of certain chapters of our lives.
The hardest part is accepting that we cannot control every ending.
Love someone.
Appreciate them.
Give them your best.
But don't turn love into fear of losing them.
Sometimes, the most loving thing you can do is simply open your hands and let them fly.
Thanks for Reading