Ever wish that you could change something in your life? If you are like pretty much every person alive I'm almost certain there is something you wish you could do over. It is actually something my kids ask me fairly often...
.....don't you wish that....(insert question here).
Or the What if's?
... What if you didn't....(insert action here).
And truth be told sometimes I look back and think what it would have been like if....
..... If my great aunt purchased me one share of Berkshire-Hathaway instead of getting me a coin set to commemorate my birth.
..... If I had been more self aware and assertive when dating my first girlfriend.
..... If I went to public university on a full scholarship rather than a private one with a much smaller one time scholarship.
Or maybe just avoided an investment gone bad like not investing in a condo with a developer that went bankrupt before the unit was completed.
Or maybe just put my first bitcoin in an exchange that didn't go bankrupt (Quadriga).
Or maybe just hold onto the Tesla shares I bought for $20 when it first went pubic on its IPO.
I could go on for a very long time on things that turned out in a way that is ....shall we say less than optimal. Of take a road I'm curious where it would have led.
Now my kids always focus on. Aren't you kicking yourself that you didn't follow a different path? I always have a simple answer for them.
I tell them : I am exactly where I am because of the decisions I have made. Where am I? With a wife I love, in a home that's stable, with two wonderful children. Why focus on what I could have had when I can focus on what I do have?
But more important than that I tell them to consider this.
Imagine you are walking down a road. Where should you look? You can look down on your feet to make sure you don't step on something. You can look ahead to see where you are going. However, should you look back at where you have been? Look back too often and you may run into something you weren't expecting.
Life is the same way. You can look at the now and see where you are at. Enjoying where you are can be powerful. But if you are like many people and unsatisfied with where you are then look ahead to where you want to be. Try to find a way from here to there. Then take the steps needed to get to your destination. However, if you keep looking back at what might have been? It gets you nowhere, accomplishes nothing--other than possibly making you more unhappy with your current position, and generally just wastes time and energy.
Then I let them know....but.... how do you know things would be better if I chose a different path?
My kids always think about how much better it would be without the mistakes or missteps. But I have to let them know, even a seemingly good thing can still end up with a bad result.
Let's take an example:
When I graduated from High School I had an option: Private University with a few thousand in scholarships or a prestigious Public University with an entrance scholarship.
I trusted my mom a little more than I should have and chose the private Christian University. I had two great years but it was very expensive and I ran out of money. I had to drop out, work minimum wage in retail for two years and then I went back to public university. I lose four years due to a bad decision on my University choice. IF I had chosen the public university first I would have graduated four years earlier, made more money at a younger age and generally be far better off. Wouldn't that be great?
But....Would it really?
Would I truly be further ahead?
Some of the best friends I ever had I met while I was doing my purgatory in retail sales. Would I have been the same person if I didn't hang out with them?
I learned the importance of education and a career during my time in retail sales. Would I have really had the discipline to stick with it when things got hard if I didn't have that perspective?
I had a friend who went to university and fell to peer pressure, drug use, and he is now deceased from poor decisions. Who is to say that I wouldn't have fallen victim to that exact same fate? I was much more mature and able to say no to peer pressure when I did finally go there four years late....or was it?
Which leads me to some....
I love a good time travel movie. I enjoy thinking about a "do over" as much as anyone else. However, I make sure not to dwell on it too long. Focusing on what I do have. Focusing on what I have achieved. Focusing on where I can go. All of those things help me move forward while "Focusing on might have been" only fills me with regret and questions. Well in the short term maybe a small smile but in the long term isn't very productive.
So, I keep on facing forward with a thought every now and then as to how blessed I truly am.
So, as always, feel free to send a message to give thoughts and feel free to disagree. Either way I'm glad you read this far,
Thanks for reading
