I remember when I was growing up people would say things like Spare the rod and spoil the child, then It seemed like punishment was the way to raise kids, but as I got older I started to notice that kids are all different, you know what works for one kid might not work for another kid.
Indeed , kids are unique, so are their families too, something that works perfectly for one kid might not work at all for another kid, so that is why I do not think we should be talking about whether to punish or reward kids, I think both punishment and rewards have their own place , because It all depends on the child involved.
For example if you have a child who's really stubborn you have to handle them differently than a child who is soft hearted, A stubborn child might not even care if you yell at them, they might just get more stubborn because they want to do things their way, so you see with a child like that you have to be patient and firm at the time, you also have to praise them when they do something so they know that good behaviour is also noticed.
On the other hand, a soft hearted child might already feel bad if they make a mistake, so if you yell at them or are too harsh on tnem it could hurt them more than help them, sometimes all you need to do is have a talk with them to help them understand what they did wrong, If you encourage them and remind them that they can do better it often works better than punishing them.
I also think that rewards can be misunderstood, When you reward a child it does not have to mean that you are buying them toys or giving them money. It can be a simple i am proud of you , a hug can mean a lot to them too, Letting them choose what game to play or what to do as a family can be a reward, kids like to feel appreciated and when they know that good behaviour makes people happy, they are more likely to keep doing things.
That does not mean that punishment should never happen, Kids need to know that there are consequences for every behaviour, If they never get in trouble for doing something, they might think they can do whatever they want without getting in trouble, the punishment should fit what they did wrong, It should be meant to teach them a lesson, not to hurt or embarrass them, there is a difference between discipline and just being mean to a kid, j think it is also important to be consistent, If you make a rule one day you should still follow it the next day, If you praise a kid, for doing something one time you should keep praising them when they continue doing that good thing.
In the end I do not think there is one way to raise children, every child is different in his or her own way, they all learn in different ways , and parents need to understand their children and not just copy what someone else is doing for their own child, For me the best way to raise kids is to find a balance, you should reward good behaviour so kids feel happy and encouraged, and you should also discipline bad behaviour so kids learn to be more responsible and most Importantly you should do everything with love and patience, because that is what makes a difference in the long run.
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