Recently I went on a trip to Surabaya, Indonesia. Considering I live near Vancouver, Canada it is a very very long trip. It was also very isolating. English isn't widely spoken and I was visibly different. I found it very interesting that I didn't see another "White" person for at least two weeks while I was there. Not in the airport. Not in the malls. Not in the hotel. Not on the street. That was surprising to me. Living in Vancouver area there is always a mix of people. Asian, White, Black and from many nationalities. When I travel to Manila? Same thing. There are primarily Asian/Filipino but there are always some other nationalities and ethnicities mixed in.
Surabaya was foreign enough that I was far from what I knew ....
and that is exactly what I was looking for
As a foreigner that stuck out there were a few things that happened. First: Young children stopped to stare on occasion. Second: I passed a lady on her phone while walking on the street. The startled look on her face when she looked up to see a white guy beside her was priceless. If I was actually talking to someone though I got the question: "Are you in Surabaya for Business or Vacation".
Being the honest guy that I am I always gave the same answer:
Neither
I probably should have just stayed with the script. I suppose its a bit like when people ask "How are you today?" and the answer is supposed to be "Fine, Thank You". Any other answer breaks the script and can be awkward.
I guess people want an answer of either "Business" or "Vacation" to continue the script. But I honestly wasn't there for either. I was there to getaway from everything and have quiet time to just be me. To find myself without distraction. To have time to focus on taking care of myself instead of doing everything else that needed to be done.
Arguably I have a good life in Canada. I have a loving wife. I have two great sons. I have a dog, two cars, and a house. Add in that I have a job, a good church, and no safety or financial worries and everything is perfect, right?
Except my daily routine, chore and to-do list mean that there is always something occupying my attention
So even if I'm just sitting and relaxing my mind is thinking:
There is no time to just sit and reflect. No time to just be me without something pulling me.
Image created with Dall-e
That's why I was in Surabaya. To be in a hotel where food was available every morning just go down and eat. The gym was on the 5th floor just go down and exercise. There were no bills to pay, no chores to do, no wife or kids to chat with, no to do list to get done. I was truly free to reflect and think.
Four times a day I would hear the mosque's broadcast their prayers and I have a reminder to read my bible and pray. I may not be Muslim but I enjoyed the daily reminder anyways. There was no reason why I shouldn't go to the gym so I went every day. There wasn't a pantry with snack food so I didn't eat anything more than I should.
Stress and decision making vanished
When my wife would call and ask "What did you do today" and I would say "Nothing" it frustrated her as she hadn't found the peace of just being free. That is something I really enjoyed though.
With nothing pulling me I was free to do exactly what I wanted. I found out I really did enjoy going to church. I found out I really did enjoy exercising and reading my Bible. I got caught up on all the anime I wanted to watch and even played video games for the first time in a long time.
It also showed me what I missed. I missed the hummus I make, the soy milk I make, the chili and other foods I appreciate. I missed the quiet cool mornings walking around the park listening to the birds and seeing the mist on the lake. I missed chatting with my sons and snuggling with my wife watching a movie.
My time away showed me what was important to me and how much I enjoy my home.
That is something that gets blurred when every day is an endless list to chores and even the things I enjoy just get lumped in with "obligations".
Stepping away.
.. quiet time to reflect
.... freedom to think
...... freedom from the to-do list
Helped me bring things into perspective.
I'm very glad I took the third option. The one that very few people tend to think about in the fast pace of modern life.
But for all those people who think "The world is a crazy ride...just let me off for a while!". That is exactly what I did...and I'm so glad I had the opportunity. I'm also glad I'm back home! But someday....when the to do list seems to be grinding on me....I know a little trick to step away from a crazy world.
