Beauty may lay in the eye of the beholder, but the fact is that there is a lot of overlap in what we tend to find beautiful as a group. And, while there are plenty of conditioning factors through culture, perhaps there are a lot that are just innate too, where we are attracted by nature, not just nurture. From a physical level this is sad, because there are a lot of things that are outside of our control - same as from the mental and emotional too, right?
How much control over who we are, do we really have?
While there are so many things we can't affect, one thing we can affect is whether or not we make an attempt to improve, something that I do find one of the most attractive things. It isn't about the results, but the willingness to try, to strive for something better. Perfect doesn't exist in any form, which means that better always does and from my perspective, there is beauty in the attempt itself, the journey, not the destination.
The people I have talked to about this over the years all seem to have the same opinion, ambition is attractive. I don't mean "blind ambition", where there is no focus, or it doesn't matter what gets in the way - I mean the type where there is clarity and purpose, and a willingness to work hard toward that end, even if it is unlikely or perhaps, impossible.
But is failure unattractive?
At least in my opinion, perhaps the only unattractive failure is wanting something and then failing to try for it. I think that happens a lot these days, where people are looking for a result, but instead of going for it, they spend more time coming up with excuses as to why they can't even make the attempt. The list of reasons can be long, but it is rarely acknowledging the role that the individual plays in it - the one that admits that,
"I am just not willing to try"
All of us fail in this throughout our lives, don't we? Wanting things but not going after it, not being firm enough with ourselves, not able to find that right point of motivation that enables us to be uncomfortable. We work on incentive, but the incentive has to be powerful enough to push us through the hard yards, or there has to be pathway incentives that help us keep going, so we don't give up half way. Wanting isn't enough - it requires doing also.
Passion is attractive.
There is power in it, there is admiration in witnessing it. Seeing someone work hard toward what they want is a beautiful thing, even if they are a long way from their goal, even if they never make it to the end. I think it is because seeing other people doing the work reminds us that it might be possible for us too, if we do the work - it is a ticket in the lottery, a dog in the race,
Skin in the game.
Beauty
So much of what the word evokes brings to mind what we can see on the surface, when so much of what is beautiful is what we don't see, what is hidden beneath, and has to be observed over time. It is not in a snapshot, an image captured in the right light, or when looking the best - it is in the grind, the sweat, the tears - the strive.
Of course, this is an "eye of the beholder" position too, isn't it? Perhaps other people only ever look at the cover in order to judge the book, which wouldn't surprise me given the shift to short-form content, headlines to tell the story. We are attracted by an image, a byline and choose to swipe left or right, dismissing people as if there is nothing more to them, that the snapshot was all the time they were worth.
How do we get to where we want to be, if we never leave the station?
We might not have a lot of control over what makes us who we are, but we have some control over what we do, at least at the level of trying to do better, be better and create better, even if we don't improve at all.
I am trying.
Daily, I fail.
Each new morning, provides another ticket.
Taraz
[ Gen1: Hive ]
