My Daughter was upset this week, because a good friend of hers at school threatened to not be her friend, if my daughter played with someone else. The reason she waned to play with someone else, is because her friend will only play what she likes to play, never what my daughter wants. This is for seven year old girls to sort out, but when she came home from school upset, we did have a talk. Bit by bit, I want my daughter to have an understanding of human nature, and learn how to impact on it.
How she uses that information, will be up to her.
But, this situation also reminded me of how most of us are followers, not self-directed. We follow in many subtle ways, pushed this way and that, manipulated by our environment to make decisions, or to stand still. We feel like we are making the choice, but ultimately, there is no way to tell why we chose one thing over another. If we can't tell if we are free to choose, freedom of choice doesn't exist.
I think that a lot of our direction isn't actually given by what we want, but rather than what we don't want. It is from a fear of outcome, which means that we end up moving away from what we don't want, even if we don't have a direction in which to go. We can move in any direction, 360 degrees unintentionally. The only thing that drives us, is what is chasing us.
Are you running from, or toward something?
A lot of my life has been running away from, but with the feeling that I was running too. I think that the difference might be in the way that it was framed, where decisions were made to go in a direction, because I feared the outcome of another. For instance, choosing the education I did, because I feared failing at the education I wanted. A lot of my decisions have been similar, running from a potential failure, rather than finding out if I had what it took to be successful.
Yet, it wasn't just a fear of failure, as I also have a fear of success. I dislike the spotlight a lot and if I do happen to get public recognition for something I have done, will downplay it, or say something to undermine it. We probably all do this to some degree, depending on topic.
But, moving out of fear or following the herd is the norm, because choosing a direction is out of favor. Choosing requires taking some responsibility and making a commitment, and that also means accepting the consequences as self-inflicted. but, a lot of the results we get are self-inflicted, even if we aren't aiming for that result. Act in a certain way, do a certain thing, get a certain result. Yet, how many of us have it worked out? How many of us really know what direction we are going and committing to it. I suspect not many.
How many of us threaten others, if we don't get our way?
How many give in?
Taraz
[ Gen1: Hive ]
