As my recent WTF article had a heavier topic in it, for a change of gear and a little balance, I thought I would open up the floor to a different kind of discussion to shift the reflective mood and set a prompt.
It doesn't have to be an article, however if you want to write a reflective post you can put it into the Reflections Community and get some additional support, if you follow the community rules. However, it is also good just to add a comment below and describe the situation and the effect it had on you. It doesn't have to be complicated, or world-changing - it can be something quite small.
For instance, while I was out in the garden at the start of the week, a car with tinted windows drove past and then stopped and reversed in front of our driveway. A guy in his mid-thirties gets out and calls to me in Finnish, and then switched to English when I asked. First, he complimented me on the garden and then asked if I wanted a pile of stones that he has sitting in his backyard, that are in his way and similar to the ones we have. Sure, I always have use for more stones! We introduced ourselves properly, swapped numbers, he sent me a picture of the stones and we arranged that whoever gets a trailer first will organise the transport in the future.
As said, this isn't much of an interaction, but for me, it stood out because in general, Finns aren't social and would avoid this kind of thing, even if they wanted to do it. They tend to not talk to strangers unless forced, and they tend not to give anything away, even if they don't want it. They also don't usually compliment anything, even if they like it. So, this short two minute conversation stood out as something out of the ordinary behaviour set of the average person here and gives me hope that at least some people are being intentional in their community.
I normally talk to a lot of people in any given week, but since I am at home and alone a lot more, live action is rarer. This is strange for me, but I think "being alone" behind a screen is very common, even when out in public. Yet, I also think that a lot of the digital interactions have a more negative or neutral valence, as people read the news or watch some program, or consume a million useless and random videos from attention-seeking "influencers" on the various platforms. I watch people consume on the bus, or at the gym, or in the library, and they look mindless, unenthused - just habitually scrolling in hope.
But, hope doesn't come from those digital sources as clearly as positive human interaction. However, a lot of people seem to avoid live interaction, because they feel anxious, or they are shy, or they fear being disappointed by others. However, what they don't seem to consider is that they too can be sources of positive experience for others. So many people seem to be so focused on their own experience, that they forget that they are part of the experiences of others and because they are mindlessly working on the defaults of self-centeredness, they aren't paying attention to how they treat others. They just want to get what they want to get, no matter the effect it has on anyone else.
While heavy, the stones aren't expensive, but once I get them and do something with them, every time I see them I will be reminded of the random act of neighbourliness from a stranger. I think that it adds value to the garden experience for me, and reflecting on it a little means that not only will it be clearer in my memory, but I am reminded that I too can do similar, more often than I do, or with greater intention.
So, what about you?
Taraz
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