One-one was a race horse.
Two-two was one too.
One-one won one race.
Two-two won one too.
I tried to teach this tongue-twister to my daughter recently and while she got it, I am still struggling with it. My mouth doesn't move as fast as it once did, so it will not be winning any races itself, any time soon. Funny, since I pretty much talk to people for a living.
The first official day in the new job starts tomorrow and I will soon head to bed after getting next to zero sleep last night for a couple of reasons - with none of them being fun or worth it. As normal, I tend to burn the candle at both ends, but I am hoping to break that habit in the coming months, especially since I should be getting (unknown timeline but a "couple months") a CPAP machine, which is used to treat sleep apnea, something that I have suffered from for many years quite badly. I really hope it will help, because a couple of my friends who now have one have reported quite drastic improvements in their overall well being.
While I am a night-owl by nature, I actually wonder how much of my sleeping habits are down to the fact that it doesn't matter when or how much I sleep, I never feel refreshed, or any better for it. Sure, it might be healthier, but there isn't that positive feedback of waking up feeling good, it is always just as tired with all of the aches, pains and issues as I went to sleep with. "Sleeping on it" doesn't seem to help much.
However, I am prepared to give it a go and change my routine a little, which is likely easier said than done, after 40-odd years of living this way. But, if I do get that "revitalized feeling" after a goodnight sleep, there is definitely more incentive to do more of it. It is like going to the gym, hard to start, but once the results start to get seen, things get easier and easier and, ,have knock-on effects.
I wonder what a "good night's sleep" will get me - better thinking, weight loss, clarity, energy? It feels like a long time since I have had any of those heading in the right direction - though I am not that overweight by average standards. Averages are useless, aren't they? A lot of people seem to rely on them to evaluate themselves, but it is is always going to depend on the sample group.
I am in excellent condition.
If the average sample group are chronically depressed, overeaters with heavy meth addictions.
I have always had a pretty strong intuition that not only do birds of a feather flock together, but our peer group affects our own behaviors heavily. If we surround ourselves with people who are out of shape and lazy, we are far more likely to be that way ourselves. This could be the flocking factor, but I suspect that if one from that group were to be transplanted into a group of active, healthy people, they are likely to change their behavior too.
Perhaps this is one of the problems with the lockdowns too, as our reference groups get taken out of sight. This might be a positive for some too of course, as a little distance from "bad influence" can do wonders, especially if replaced with good influence. I need a little more good influence in my life and a little less "left to my own devices".
That is a funny term these days, isn't it -
be left to one's own devices
I think that this could be applied to our "self-isolation" as we hide behind screens and all that they offer, rather than face the world, face to face. If our performance and comparisons are tested and self-evaluated at the keyboard, it is pretty easy to feel that we are doing okay. It isn't until we compare in a more realistic setting that we see how much we've gained, or how far we've fallen.
Tomorrow, after a couple weeks where I have tried unsuccessfully to find some time for myself to mentally prepare, I will be thrown into a very intense onboarding and ramp-up phase, whilst simultaneously finishing up my previous role. I am both looking forward to it and very nervous, as it is going to test me in ways that I know I am lacking, and I have to learn more than a few tongue twisters. But, what is the worst that can happen?
Well, I guess the worst would be getting fired - but I think that before that, I would be kicked back to the role I came from, something that I can do and have a rack record doing well, so the real risk is losing face. The ego is an illusion, but it makes itself feel very real. If that does happen though, no matter what other think of me, I know what it has taken to get to this point in my life and compared to the average, I am doing okay considering.
Maybe this movement will have a domino effect and like quality sleep or exercise, it will trigger a chain reaction of processes and events that lead somewhere unexpected, somewhere better. It might start at One win, but can open the door for Two to win one too.
Night all.
Taraz
[ Gen1: Hive ]
