Last night when I was writing about revenge I was saying how we justify it when we are a victim, and condone it when we support victims seeking it. The problem is, that because we all see ourselves as victims of something, then we are actually condoning revenge for everyone, so that the cycle of violence not only continues, but increases, because each act of revenge creates more victims.
For instance, the attack on Israel a few years ago killed around 1200 people, including over 800 civilians. Since then, the retaliatory actions of Israel have killed over 66,000 people, with almost one third of them being children.
How many new victims have been created?
Maybe none.
Because prior to the attacks in October 2023, all of the people involved on all sides probably already saw themselves as victims of some kind, whether they were oppressed or threatened, or feared to lose their land, house, or identity in some way. It doesn't matter what side the individual is on, they all belong to that all-inclusive group of Victim.
I was reflecting on this in terms of myself, and while I generally don't class myself as a "victim" in the sense that I can do nothing about it, I could definitely claim to be victimized by those who didn't need to be perpetrators. For example, I am a victim of racism from childhood, bullied by children who were taught that people like me were somehow inferior, or a threat. And those teaching parents themselves were victims, because they saw people like me as a threat to their identity, much like what is happening now in the world still.
As I wrote in a comment yesterday:
The opposite of Love is not Hate, it is Fear. All the hate is rooted in fear of loss of something someone identifies with.
And we all live in fear today, meaning that we are threatened in someway, all of the time. It may not be a physical threat, it could be an ideological threat. It may not be a real threat either, but a perceived threat. We are like the schizophrenics who believe that people are following them and trying to kill them, and have voices in the head to retaliate before attacked.
But, revenge and retaliation are on a scale that doesn't have a guide for what is an appropriate level of response. A few weeks ago a mentally ill and violent individual killed an unfamiliar woman on a train because he believed she was reading his thoughts. In his head, he was threatened, he was a victim - so he retaliated to the attack on him.
Fair enough.
Because we live in a world where we have raised how we feel onto a pedestal above the responsibility of our actions, so we can justify all manner of behaviour based on feelings. And we have even been encouraged to react to how we feel, to be our "authentic selves" and do not control our emotions. And because of this, there is no "turn the other cheek", there is only near total immersion into behaviours driven by our emotional states. We feel entitled to behave as our feelings dictate, and as said yesterday, we condone this behaviour in others when they are responding to a threat that we also hold as to be true.
An endless loop of retaliation.
But to break the cycle it takes the "turn the other cheek" approach, where peace, understanding, forgiveness, friendship and love, becoming the guiding values of behaviour. The problem is though, that when only one turns the other cheek, it becomes more oppression, more violence, more victimization and eventually, more retaliation. So turning cheeks won't work, unless everyone turns their cheek to forgive all past transgressions, however terrible, and move on simultaneously. And then, go forward from that point with love only.
How is that going to happen?
It is far easier see oneself as a victim and retaliate accordingly, than as an agent of love that has no desire for revenge at all. It is far easier to hold hate for those who oppress, than to forgive them, befriend them, and bring them into the community with love.
Maybe it is impossible.
As I said yesterday, perhaps we are just violent as a species and there is no overcoming ourselves. But even if this is the case, participating in a race to the bottom of the worst of our behaviours seems to be counter to what any of us would ever want, as no one wants to live in that kind of world. We can do better, but to do so, we have to be better. How we behave defines us, so no matter what your beliefs are, what you claim to be, your individual behaviours tell exactly who you are in that moment.
Look in the mirror.
Are you the person you want to be?
You are a victim of yourself also.
How will you retaliate?
Taraz
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