鈥嶵rue courage and bravery are at home: in our partner, children, who see our example with unconditional support and in the values we sow every day. Starting a family is not about looking for a perfect life; it's about choosing each other, taking care of each other and continuing to build together even on the most difficult days.
Over the years I have understood that one of the things that most determines the health of a couple is not how easy or difficult each other's family is, but how clear the boundaries that protect the relationship are. There are many intense families. There are families who give opinions, ask questions, give advice without anyone having asked them for advice and, from time to time, even convene an extraordinary meeting to discuss matters that frankly do not belong to them... At least it has happened to me.
But when we are a solid couple we do not need to isolate ourselves from our families to protect the relationship. From experience with more than 47 years as a couple, we just need to learn to differentiate love from interference.
In fact we can be loving children with our parents without allowing them to decide for my partner. We can even be present brothers without turning our brothers into permanent advisors of our relationship.
We can have children, an ex, or an ex, traditions and a complete family history... and still know that there are decisions that belong exclusively to that new "we" that we are building. I think that's the adult way to love: not forcing our partner to compete for a place that should be clear from the beginning.
In the end, the problem is rarely that the family has opinions. We all have opinions and, besides, they are free, so people distribute them with an impressive generosity. What we really need to observe is what we do as a couple with those opinions.
It is true that you do not marry with your whole family, but definitely if you marry with the ability or inability that person has to set limits. And that difference can completely change the story of a relationship.
Shared life demands something more difficult than love: the will not to run away from the rift. To sustain the discomfort of knowing that there will always be something that is not completely adjusted. It is easy to forget it when we idealize; it is more difficult to sustain it when imperfection becomes everyday, where it is easy to lose our way and feel that attention is scattered among notifications, digital noise and daily worries.
Pointing at another for his mistakes is not useful when we face a conflict, accusing is useless, what will always help is each one to take charge of his part, of what he contributes so that they are stuck at a point that does not allow them to move towards their dreams
And the only way to do it consciously is by taking time to self-regulate, return to peace, and ask forgiveness for what everyone has done, because your behavior is your responsibility
Good day everyone馃攨
Janitze.馃尫
Separator made with Canva by 
Any images in this post are taken with my iPhone 12, the Infinix pro-note 30 or with the camera eighties Rolleiflex 2.8 f, and edited by me with Canva
Translation with |DeepL