Where we place our attention matters.
Lately, I have been struggling with my focus and I am pretty sure it is that my thyroid medication is wrong, but to balance it takes time so that I can then get a test and readjust. It was going well until I started the treatment for my stomach a few years ago and then the frequency of treatment was changed several times throughout, which disrupted the way my body works and I haven't really found a stable point again. Now though, I can really feel how lacking my attention span is and I am struggling constantly to find words. Thinking itself is uncomfortable and it is kind of like trying to solve a math problem while drunk - and I wasn't good at math to begin with. And while patience is a virtue, mine wears thin very fast.
If I can describe it, it kinds of feels like having Alzheimer's and being very aware of the degradation, constantly reminded by having to work hard to get even basic thoughts out. Before I was diagnosed and got treatment, for ten years I bumbled through the world with poor thoughts, very low motivation, always extremely tired and quite disinterested in the world. I feel it creeping back and will have to do something fast for it, though fast takes months.
I was thinking (with difficulty) about this and potential ramifications and was reminded of a story I heard about the Australian cricket team back in the 80s and 90s, when they were quite dominant in the sport. A cricket game is quite long (several days), but each day is also long. What they did to keep themselves sharp was not pay attention when they didn't have to, but focus very hard when they did. They recognized that a human only has about 30 minutes or so of pure attention a day and once depleted, it was gone. So, they trained players to focus only for the couple seconds they were in play between balls (you don't need to understand), but not pay attention when they were out of play. This meant they could conserve their focus throughout the entire day for when it was vital. The rest of the time, they literally just defocused or spoke nonsense that required little attention.
As said, ramifications. What I was thinking about was where the average person focuses their attention these days and I have a feeling that for most of us, the best of our attention is paid to things that might not actually be vital. For example, how valuable to your life is that twitter argument you got involved with yesterday, or making it through that level of the game? These things take attention, but what is the return on investment?
I was talking with a friend about how I think people should spend more time in reflection, developing themselves and learning about the things that actually affect their lives - finance, emotional control and building deeper relationships and while she agreed, she said that most people don't have time for it. However, I think most people don't have the attention for it, as they spend their focus on the irrelevant, leaving nothing in the tank for the important. Just think how much attention people spend consuming and talking about current events, getting the perfect angle for a selfie and being clever on Twitter for some hearts.
While we feel that what we are doing in the moment is valuable and worthy of our attention, is it actually the best use of an even more limited resource than the time we have? I wonder whether our personal results would change significantly if those 30 minutes of pure attention a day were placed into something that furthered our personal evolution and the other attention grabbers only got second- and third-quality focus.
Due to all of my cognitive ability now being second- and third-quality, I have to be quite careful with the ways I use it and the long training days are becoming increasingly hard. Even writing at the moment is laborious at times, but I use it as a way to relax my mind and I also enjoy the "challenge" to see what comes out of me. Because I am able to use it as a challenge, I am still able to maintain flow most of the time - which means my pure attention kind of gets a rest, as the flow state carries me along the river of thoughts. But, I am worn out a lot of the time and never feel rested - sleep or no sleep is similar.
Next week I think I will go and get the thyroid function test and then see where I need to be dosage wise to find balance - but even then it is a little bit of experimentation and as said, it takes months to adjust and align. But, one goo thing about this is that it has become a good reminder to pay attention to what my body is doing and not take it for granted. I think a lot of what we do in life requires building upon what we have done and we often feel that we will always have the resources we have available to us - until we don't.
The average person is going to look into the mirror one day and see themselves with diminished capacity and far less opportunity to affect the rest of their lives. While it is never too late to wake up and focus on what is actually important, it is probably better to be an early adopter - and pay attention now.
Taraz
[ Gen1: Hive ]
