Sometimes good news just pops up.
Nothing that helps me at all, but someone I know is now expecting and I am just so happy for them and look forward to being even a tiny part in the life of their child. I wish more mid-20s would have children and get their life in order, because it brings so much value to life itself. I only just found out tonight, but it comes at an interesting time, because there has been a lot of baby talk around here.
Firstly yesterday, Smallsteps was asking me about some of the technicalities around babies and it became quite clear that she needs a lot more fundamentals. Thinking back to her age, I felt I knew a great deal more about it. But, it is making for some very entertaining conversations, son I am not complaining.
And then today I went to lunch with a friend who has three children of her own, with each of her sisters having two and three also. They have such an awesome family too, and I call her parents "mum and dad" when I see them. And while eating a curry at a local Indian restaurant, she was talking about the cost of living today, but also that she has come to realise that a good life with a family, doesn't take too much, it just means being happy with simpler experiences. This led into a conversation about her great grandmother, who had done two trips in her lifetime, both to cities in Finland not too much more than 100 kilometres from where she was born. What was nice with talking to my friend, was that she has recently realised what a warped perspective Instagram and the like give of the world, and how they set up expectations that are impossible to meet.
I completely agree.
In the past though, expectations were set by local surroundings, which meant that while not everything was possible, a lot more could be accomplished in terms of goals, because the selection was relatively narrow and the potential to fulfil quite high. We might look at the goals of getting a decent job, family, house and time off in the summer as not enough to sustain our interest in life, but that was all that was required, because most other things were out of reach, or unknown anyway. But now, we see everything and once we see it, we want it, or we are torn between many options, and the more options we have, the less satisfied we are with the decisions we make.
While I don't recommend people to rush into having a child for the wrong reasons, I also think that people shouldn't think about it that much in terms of the impact it has on current lifestyle and desires. Because so many of those things are informed by media, which means that they are unlikely to be that important in the grand scheme of our lives anyway. And the "cost of children" doesn't have to be extreme either, as long as the children are raised understanding the value of what is actually important in life.
Keep it simple.
I hear a lot of complaints about how complex life is these days and it very well can be. *But does it have to be? Once we cut out the majority of the unnecessary noise we put in front of our face, life simplifies a great deal and what used to be hard, is suddenly manageable, because focus and intention isn't spread anywhere near as widely, and there is a lot less disappointment in the choices made. Life gets better.
And no, this isn't about doing with less, it is about opening up to more personal experience. What many people are chasing now isn't personal, it is material. It is a postcard picture to update their Instagram, or a concert attendance just to say they were there. It might be fun in the moment, but for most people in time, those good moments blur and fade, and there isn't much left. When it comes to building family experience though, well, that is an endless reward pool, because there are so many layers and nuances, and it is constantly evolving and setting up new challenges and successes.
But hey, this is just my opinion in a world of decreasing population as the majority of people don't want to have children, because of whatever excuses they have. Yet, they want to feel relevant, they want to be part of something, they want to be recognised and accomplished - but are setting themselves up for lifetime failure. And in the back-half, they will have many reasons why they did what they did and why it was the best thing for them, but in the back of their mind, they will have questions.
Or not.
Taraz
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