Back at work today and trying to get into the groove, but it is hard after several sick days and a mountain of work piled up on the back of it. One of the challenges with my role is that so much of it requires stakeholder communication, so I can't just "put my head down" and plough through, as I have to include others in so many of the processes and conversations. And while for the most part this is okay, since I am currently working a global role, there are only so many hours in the day to meet with for example, US or AUS colleagues - and they are at different extremes of the day.
At least the weekend is almost here.
And after not stepping foot from the house since Sunday, I am going to take Smallsteps on our normal Adventure Friday run, probably just for a coffee and maybe a small slice of cake together. I am still not feeling that spritely and at -3, I am not keen to stand outside in the park yet, but sitting around talking will be a good first step.
Sometimes, just a drop really is enough to get us going, or keep us interested. Often, just a drop of hope means the difference between holding on and surviving, or succumbing to circumstances and perishing. That "light at the end of the tunnel" provides more than a direction, it can also give the energy to keep walking through the darkness. It can also mitigate emotional risks, holding us back from acting thoughtlessly, burning bridges in the process. Stress can make us react in ways we can regret later, as some things just can't be taken back and the impact they have, can be enduring.
It is much like the impact of loss and gains, a loss wears twice as hard, if not harder. It doesn't matter how much good we might have done, how many times we have acted well, the wrong thing said or done at the wrong time, and all that past becomes meaningless.
It's a hard world.
And these days, that past will never stay in the past either, so no matter what good is done since a past indiscretion, when convenient to do so, it will be dredged up over and over again.
Best not say anything at all.
Just in case a drop of intended hope, becomes a drop of accidental poison.
And these days, "best intention" is rarely assumed - if there is gain to be had in assuming the worst instead, which there generally is, because everyone has an agenda. It doesn't matter what harm it causes down the track or, whether it will end up contrary to other agendas in the future, people are in it to score the short win, not the long game. I get the feeling that it is more about winning battles, even if the war will be lost.
Society these days just seems to me like a field of polarized battles, most of which are not looking for any kind of resolution that improves anything, and are just fought for the sake of fighting. It seems to give people some kind of purpose to their life, without any need to actually do anything meaningful.
Was it always this way?
I don't know - but perhaps it is a more pronounced now that we have more free time on our hands to worry about the useless. It could be because compared to the past we have far better conditions too, so we can worry about increasingly lesser things. Rather than doing what we need to survive like we had to earlier, our survival is near "guaranteed" in the sense that many of us will be taken care of, no matter what kind of failure we actually are. Rather than using this safety net to take risks and expand our potential, we use it as a crutch.
Just a drop.
I wish that I could get just a drop better each day, but many days, I feel more like I am going backwards. I don't know if this is the practical case, but it feels that way at the moment, where instead of being more skilled to cope, I am becoming less capable. I don't know if it is mood or reality, but from an experiential standpoint, it doesn't matter which.
But somewhere in there, there is a point of light in the darkness, that drop of hope saying that it will work out for the best - true or not.
For now though, I get to spend an hour with Smallsteps to finish off my work week, which is always a shining point in my life and I can warmly recommend for all parents to make "Adventure Fridays" á thing in the life of the family. I love it - Smallsteps loves it too.
It is a drop for us both.
Taraz
[ Gen1: Hive ]
