After waiting for what felt like a hundred years (for the parents), Smallsteps finally got her new bike delivered, though it was not without its little bit of drama. We went into a chain sports store to buy it, after I found it online with a discount, but once we got there, they had none left - though we could order it from another store and they said it would take a couple days to be delivered. That's fine.
A week later, my wife got a generic email saying something to the effect of, "we are swamped, it won't be long! We are putting the bikes together and making sure they are safe".
Annoying, but okay.
A week later with no word, my wife calls and then she is directed to wait longer.
A week later, I happen to be at the sports store in question, and they have about ten of the bikes lined up for sale.
Annoyed.
That was almost week ago.
My wife called the store, but because it was ordered online, they directed to email the shipping place and cancel the order - which she did. However, a couple days later, they said they can't cancel because it was already shipped and finally last night, we came home to a large box.
Of bike pieces.
I can put a bike together, but out of principle, I didn't. While I finished work, my wife and Smallsteps ran some errands and took the bike to the sports store, having it replaced with one already built and adjusted to the right height.
Now, at the end of the day, it isn't a big issue, but the amount of time and unnecessary running around for us was ridiculous for what it should have been. The entire process was highly inefficient from start to finish and created a lot of unnecessary work. Not to mention, there was a six year old who was told she would have a new bike in a few days, having to wait a month.
What was interesting was that she didn't mind waiting.
Having grown out of her very first bike last year, she was on a hand-me-down from her cousins, which was still a little small and about 20 years old. The color was bad, there was plenty of rust and it was heavy as hell, but Smallsteps was happy riding it and said a few times, she was happy to wait for the new one.
Learning to ride didn't come as quickly for Smallsteps as most other things have done and she is still not the most confident of riders, but now that she was riding, this bike was familiar. It has back-peddle brakes, as does the new one, but the new one also has a front hand brake too - and that has been worrying Smallsteps. A few times she has asked, "how am I meant to do so many things at once?" She gets a bit anxious when there is unfamiliar things to learn or do, and even when it comes to foods, she is wary. As we got the new bike back last night, I said that we could go for a quick test ride before her shower if she wanted.
There wasn't a lot of enthusiasm.
However, I took her out onto the footpath and said that she doesn't need to use the hand brake yet, just the peddles like before and we can learn how to use the other later. She was pretty nervous, but once she was going, she realized how different it actually was. This bike is about half the weight of the other and hasn't got years of usage on the bearings, so it is smooth, quiet and easy for her to peddle.
30 seconds later, she was all smiles.
Totally worth it.
We are all blinded by familiarity, because it feels safe. However, while it may be "better the devil you know" in some cases, it is an unknown until the unfamiliar is experienced. I have been trying to help Smallsteps understand this from many perspectives, because she is like me, someone who will observe and want, but possibly not try unless there is a high perceived chance of success. The problem with this approach is that a lot gets missed out on that might be valuable, out of fear of failure. While I have been better with it of late, I wish I was able to be a little more outgoing earlier in life - or at least have the option to be.
I spent a lot of time on my bike as a kid and it is also on two wheels that I have hurt myself the most - but, it only took me 15 minutes to learn how to ride. I wonder sometimes, if it had taken me longer to learn, would I have developed better foundational skills, spending more time on the basics - would I be a better rider for it?
It makes me think that there are also a lot of things I didn't try as a kid (or adult) due to there not being enough chance of success, that perhaps if I had, I could have been pretty good at it, as I would have had to learn more slowly, more systematically, rather than just being able to wing it by relying on what I am "competent enough" at, as I have through much of my life.
Having a child is a massive learning experience and very frustrating, because we can see ourselves reflected in them, but they are also not us, they are different. Some parents interfere to try and fix their children from the perspective of their own perceived shortcomings, but might fail to see that in another context, this might be a strength. Smallsteps is talented in so many ways and more so than both her parents combined, but she too has her own challenges to face and learn to overcome. When she looks back on her life and perhaps through the lens of a parent herself, she too will want to change things, as we all will, but it will likely be things that I haven't even thought of at this point.
For now, we can just let her ride.
Taraz
[ Gen1: Hive ]
