there is a very thin line, between empathy & sympathy; be very wary of crossing this line-
empathy: is defined as the ability or act of being able to understand what someone else may be going through, or what someone else may be feeling in response to a situation. this happens when you can put yourself in the other individuals shoes; understanding the situation from their perspective and point of view.
sympathy: is the feeling sorrow for the circumstances someone else is going through. similar to empathy, sympathy also requires us to put ourselves in the other individuals shoes, but sympathy then goes a step further in personalizing the sorrow, making the situation about ourselves.
thus empathy enables to understand what other people may be going through, sympathy however, takes the other persons misfortune and makes it about us.
empathy is selfless, sympathy is selfish;
when you contain yourself to empathetic holding; meaning you are there to support someone in their pain, to make them feel understood, you empower them with the knowledge that what they are feeling is real, it is justified and that they are not alone in feeling this way, you allow them to pick themselves up and do what they must do, learn what they must learn and grow themselves into an individual that can overcome the obstacle that they need to to carry on with their life - this gives liberty, independence and self-belief.
however, when you are sympathetic; you let go of the containment, you no longer hold space for the other person, but rather, have made their pain your own, therefore, your effort of helping them, is actually an unconscious effort to rid yourself of the pain you have personalized, thus, you take away the other person's opportunity for growth and learning, in a way of sorts, you also instill the belief that the other person needs you (or others) to act on their behalf and save them - this stunts a necessary growth and learning process leading to dependency, low self-esteem and low self-efficacy.
empathy allows growth sympathy mitigates it;
the want to help other's is perhaps something innate within us; for we were designed to co-exist,
however, it is crucial that we understand that people do not need or want to be saved,
people do not need or want to be fixed, people need and want to be held & understood,
it is in the knowledge of being held,
it is in the knowledge of being understood,
that we get the safety and the confidence to fight our own battles, and the best help we can offer anyone,
is to provide them with a space to grow and enhance their own self belief,
therefore, be vary of crossing the thin line between empathy and sympathy, for one helps others, whereas the other, only helps our own self.
