This week has been extremely hard to say the least. I felt like I have reached a point of no return. That the hope of ever reaching a normal state of being is razor thin. There's few things that destroy more a human soul than feeling like no one gets it. In spite of it all, life has a way of sometimes making miracles happen when you feel like you've reached the end of the road and this week an absolutely amazing being saved my life with words that will forever be imprinted in my heart. Never underestimate the power of kindness and empathy my friends, I promise you can turn someone's life around without even knowing.
All my most destructive coping mechanisms have been back on them tracks for weeks now and it brings me back to such a dark place. I am engaging in absolutely anything that will provide me some sort of relief from what is going on within and I hate that I have no control to make it stop. My mind has never been that bad. I think this is the end result of having kept all my most brutal wounds festering inside me for years. Only positive point is that my new combo of meds is making me sleepy af all day long and making me able to take very long naps. Anything to avoid the pain. At this point I really don't know what to do besides praying for this nightmare to finally end .
Love to each one of you beautiful beings XX