There’s an indescribable energy coursing through my chest, but I keep suppressing it with a plan I trust more than my own instincts, I’m consciously resisting the urge to lean forward because it didn’t align with the schedule I’ve meticulously planned,
There’s an inexplicable energy coursing through my chest, and I’ve talked myself out of the very thing that was already working on me that I couldn’t neglect doing,
There’s an indescribable energy coursing through my chest, as though a spreadsheet could ever know what actually moves me, or a notes that could help me plan my next steps ahead,
What have I overlooked recently simply because it didn’t align with the meticulously crafted plan I was so proud of,
There’s an indescribable energy coursing through my chest, and I am finally following the feeling instead of the folder, the notes, the spreadsheet and the planners…
I persistently force an idea to blossom on my schedule instead of allowing it to naturally develop at its own pace, standing over it with a looming deadline is unlikely to expedite the growth of a genuine concept,
I persistently force an idea to blossom on my schedule instead of allowing it to naturally develop at its own pace, and I have called things dead that were actually just resting somewhere I couldn't see, and I couldn’t imagine yet,
I persistently force an idea to blossom on my schedule instead of allowing it to naturally develop at its own pace, and my impatience has cost me ideas I mistook for failures instead of just early give-ups,
Am I willing to set this down for now without deciding that setting it down means giving up,
I persistently force an idea to blossom on my schedule instead of allowing it to naturally develop at its own pace, and I am letting this one rest until it's actually ready to be woken with pure clarity…
There is a question I could follow instead of an answer I keep clenching too tightly, holding onto a fixed outcome like letting go of it would mean losing myself entirely,
There is a question I could follow instead of an answer I keep clenching too tightly, and I have missed whole roads because I was too busy defending the one I'd already chosen apart from all the possibilities,
There is a question I could follow instead of an answer I keep clenching too tightly, and the grip itself has kept me from anything I didn't plan for in advance allowing a leeway or plan B or even C,
What might I find if I loosened my hand just enough to let the question lead for once,
There is a question I could follow instead of an answer, still, I keep clenching too tightly, and I am opening my palm tonight, slowly, to see what wants to land there as long as I am aware of who I am…
I find myself needing absolute certainty before I’m willing to commit to something that’s worth pursuing, I demand proof upfront from a process that was never meant to be fully understood before it was in motion, and still about to continue,
I find myself needing absolute certainty before I’m willing to commit to something that’s worth pursuing, and I have abandoned things one week before they were about to finally turn toward me, but still I continued,
I find myself needing absolute certainty before I’m willing to commit to something that’s worth pursuing, and the need itself has become heavier to carry than any actual disappointment, regret or even failure ever was,
Could I keep going a little longer without knowing yet if this is the one that stays,
I find myself needing absolute certainty before I’m willing to commit to something that’s worth pursuing, and I am choosing to continue anyway, uncertain and still here, because perhaps commitment is not knowing that something will work, but caring enough to discover what it might become…
Watchwords:
The excitement in my chest I override,
Bloom on my schedule, not its own season,
A question I could follow instead,
Needing certainty before calling it worth continuing,
Choosing to continue anyway, uncertain and still here,
Here is Tikatarot, who dares you to answer the question, “Who am I?”..
As and will always be reminding you to dream: