I am back from the dead today, finally with enough energy to roll out of bed and do a few tasks. My speculations have drifted from diabetes and terminal illness to either low thyroid or low testosterone. My symptoms are feeling quite a bit better after riding the bike around a bit yesterday and I'm starting to get a hint of normalcy back again. Hope you all didn't miss me too much 😁, just kidding.
I have been very sick lately for seemingly no reason, if you want to learn more about this read my previous posts. Basically lots of physical pain mostly in the muscles and joints, chronic fatigue to the point I can barely get out of bed. I am recovering from drugs & alcohol, I am about 2 months sober. I have been thinking of what I want to do with my life but have been steadily bombarded with intrusive thoughts, thinking I have a chronic illness and making excuses because I still feel awful from quitting drugs. I have a little short rhyming stream of consciousness to explain how I feel I hope you will enjoy, "I have been dreaming of a future in system administration or cyber security, being able to SSH into a network and get the work done remotely. I dread jumping into programming, but so much loot to be had. Do I have the attention span, memory, and wits? I am only 2 months sober, these are the only question I have".
I know the path I must take, I need to start learning the bare basics on Code Academy, and immediately jump into reading the book "Learn Python the Hard Way". I am very excited to jump into this whole new world, I have been dying to learn for so long. I have been impaired by endless laziness for as long as I can remember, but I have to stop making excuses and jump headfirst into it.
Amidst all the chaos of jobhunting, physical ailments, sobriety and financial stress I have been handed some precious moments. Today I spent time with my dad in person for the first time in probably a year. We went to get my blood drawn, and X-rays taken. He got me new clothes, and shoes. We talked about the past, my addiction, and the ones we have lost to the disease. Even though getting X-Rays taken & blood drawn seemed like annoying tasks to do, I had an amazing time talking to my dad and bonding, a very memorable moment. This tiny event sprung me with motivation to get moving in life.
