Yesterday was not so surprisingly a pretty downer day for me. I tried my best to drag myself to work.. well technically I did; but I ended up leaving early. Not really the best decision, but I was on the verge of just breaking down completely. If you haven’t read my posts in the last few days, I lost someone back home in a car accident this week. I’m 3000 miles away from home; and not being able to be there has been a little rough for me.
So, I got myself to work in the morning; only to find out we were closed for the day to try to complete our inventory. Normally, this would be an ideal day for me. Nothing but nerding out about numbers and organizing product. Hell, headphones even. And our wonderful boss(es) brought a bunch of snacks, someone cooked lunch.. just really a fun day.
Unfortunately, in the mood I was in, it was exactly the opposite of what I needed. Too much time alone with my thoughts, my phone constantly going off.. my boss was a little surprised i wanted to stay at first, and it turned out she was right. She also offered me time off if I wanted to fly home for the funeral; which I do, and seriously considered.. but ultimately decided against it. I’m heading that way in less than a month, and I really shouldn’t be taking additional time off, considering what this upcoming month looks like for me. Especially with the amount of money I need to spend on getting the van ready for winter.
So, my brain won, and I had to leave before I started crying. More than anything, I didn’t want to ruin the vibe, lmao. Kidding, of course.. kind of. Unfortunately, I was supposed to work a double, so I had driven the van up.. something I somewhat regretted. I really could’ve used the hike back down, mentally.. BUT! In good news, my radiator seems to be properly functioning again- turns out i just has to get that damn air bubble out.
I slowly crawled down the work rod, and parked myself back in my little hiding spot just outside of town. I wanted to take the bus down to Sandy; figured a good skate might increase my dopamine levels just enough to put myself in a better mood. But, I decided to just stick around here, as the next day was my day off this week. Turned out that was the wrong case.. because I picked up a shift right before bed. Oh well.
I spent a couple hours just kind of doing nothing. I tried to organize the van a little bit, but it wasn’t helping and I just ended up pretty much pulling a bunch of shit out just to shove it back in. I tried to read, but I couldn’t concentrate on anything. Ultimately, I decided exercise was the. Eat therapy. I did some childlike jump-roping and then went on a short 4-mile run; which was actually pretty solid because it was just straight UP.
That definitely kind of got me in a better mood and I fell asleep starting to accept things. Hopefully the next couple of days will be better and I’ll stay up for the homies sake. Rest in peace, Buddy.
This report was published via Actifit app (Android | iOS). Check out the original version here on actifit.io