Mental Health Matters!
It's very important to look after our mental health.
That statement is one that should go without saying, but because it's of utmost importance it's something I will always be an advocate for and talk about.
Our minds are how we perceive the world, and if there are any cognitive distortions then everything in our lives is affected.
The Tumble
Last week my mental health took a bit of a tumble.
I was self aware enough to figure out the root cause: a mixture of both fear and frustration.
A little backstory is needed here. Early in the year there was a dry spell with the labour hire company that I was working for. So, to counter this I signed up with more event based labour hire companies.
The work they offer is sporadic at best. Some companies can reject applications, or worse yet, cancel a shift that I've been excepted for.
My rent needs to be paid every week regardless.
The trigger on this particular day was that I'd been offered a "standby shift". This is essentially a shift where if someone can't make it, they'll ring me if they need me. I turned up anyway just to clarify.
I was told essentially that I wasn't needed and "you can go home". It wasn't said nastily but it was said twice and this was because I decided to hang back for an extra minute and introduce myself to the front of house lady.
It wasn't the first time that week that someone had said "You can go home" and said in a non-threatening way and context, but when I started to over think it, it started to become more sinister in my mind.
It was a warm day with blue skies and minimum clouds, so I went down to Glenelg Beach.
It was windy, and yes it even started to rain. I also discovered that the beach was closed because they were doing something with the sand. (Bulldozers, cranes and dump trucks doing their thing).
It matched my mood but I was self aware enough to know I needed to fight against it.
I went into a local bakery and had a meat pie and a peppermint slice.
While there I filmed a pigeon eating left overs from a nearby table. Pecking and flicking pie crust all over the floor. What I didn't capture was the pigeon flicking the plate along with cutlery, onto the ground with a loud crash, upsetting the old guy sitting next to it.
The pigeon flew to the back of the chair in front of me and I got a few photos before it flew out the doorway.
A staff member came and cleaned up the mess.
Looking Deeper
While I am definitely not out of the woods yet, I can see where those darker thoughts were coming from.
The biggest stressor was my need to file my taxes. Normally not a real issue, but this year I'd sold a lot of crypto which draws capital gains tax and the fear surrounding being broke and potentially homeless was causing stress.
I seriously need to be working every day, or at least generating some form of income so that I am at least covering my rent and moving forward.
This is why I signed up with various event companies earlier in the year. I signed up with another one today too. But even those companies have too many employees so it's often a matter of luck as to if you can get anything at all.
If you're lucky enough to get a shift, it can be cancelled at the last moment. I need a stable workplace and a steady income.
My frustration is that I just want to work. Anywhere.
I apply and either get no reply or rejected.
I really don't want to go back onto welfare at all.
At the same time, I'd like to be of maximum value to society. This is why I started doing skill based courses; it makes me easier to hire.
Well, that's the theory anyway. So far it's allowed me to work in pubs and behind the bar during sporting events occasionally. It's not enough to cover rent at this stage.
My other goal is to raise my reputation locally so that there's some name recognition when I go to apply for various jobs.
I'm thinking of getting business cards printed out and just handing them out to people I interact when when I work. I'm a bit worried it might across a bit arrogant though. Please let me know what you think about that.
While down at the beach I managed to get some touristy style phones, and I wanted to end this on a happier note.
There's a cool love heart thing for lovers to take photos inside of.
There's stuff for the tourists too.
I don't know what the future holds, but I know that I am fully responsible for how I feel, what I think and what I do.
As I type this, I've just recieved another job rejection because I didn't meet their application criteria. Not sire what that could be, it was work I'd been doing sporadically for the last 5 years.
If you've any job related ideas, then I am all ears.
All comments and suggestions welcome.
Until next time, thanks for reading and be mindful of your mental health.
"Stay awesome!" - Shaidon.
All photos are haven been taken by me, unless otherwise indicated and the sources supplied.
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