When thinking about my life and the things I see, I try to control the framing I think in.
I am not a naturally positive person, in fact, my first reaction to most things is quite negative. I used to find it very easy to get stuck in existential dread or frustration about how unfair things were or how unjust life felt.
I believe that we can greatly influence our reality with our thoughts but in my experience, no amount of positive affirmations can hide what’s going on behind those thoughts. So much is decided by the subconscious mind and the subconscious mind can only be worked on through a change in the frame.
That means feeling everything you feel fully, not denying any thoughts or emotions, but careful attention to which thoughts you think, and becoming a guiding voice for all your chemica reactions.
You can’t instantly stop liking something. But you can find the good aspects of it or look for positive things yo counter it. You can’t cover up fear or anger with forced positivity, but you can find the deeper root of these emotions and compensate for them through self love and support.
For years I trained myself to stop thinking reactively. It requried me to constantly seek more positive framing. I didn’t reject my dislike of certain things or frustrations, I just asked the questions “what can i do with this?” “How can i calm down?” “what can this teach me?” “how can i avoid feeling this way in the future without unnecessary sacrfice?”
I became very pragmatic about my emotions.
I also learned that “negatove emotions” aren’t always negative. Crying can be theraputic if we let it be. Crying is a chance to let go of some of the negative emotion, as long as we learn how to let those emotions go as they come up. It’s essentially pooping.
Nowadays I sometimes don’t even realize certain things happening to me are “bad”. I mean they aren’t things that I want or choose, but now with many of them, especially the things I an used to, I assume they are just a learning experience and will get better over time.
And they usually do.
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