1 I’m finding myself interacting with Opinions on the internet less and less. I have weened myself off X to a large extent after giving up on monetization but I still use it to get news from time to time. Many of the gossip about Japan or economic news makes me want to say something and I start to write a reply but then I delete it. I’m not sure if I should delete it or not but I’m trying to practice not getting tied up in bullshit that’s out of my control.
I find more and more that I have a lighter attitude towards everything these days. Things are still falling into place. I’m still waiting but my hard work has paid off to the extent that everything is running smoothly. I don’t need to constantly worry about how to survive or stay in the country anymore. It’s just about making enough and feeling good enough to be able to travel
I have been getting in touch with my anger a lot more. Anger allows energy to move more freely, so I want to utilize it to push things along. I do this consciously. Not letting the anger take control, nor tire me out. I keep the fire in the engine, not letting it leak out into any other part of my life.
This may be way harder than it sounds, I’m not really sure, but I’ve been mastering my mindset for years now and I can effectively stay calm in any situation, so now anger is a choice. Of course it can be a natural reaction as well, but I don’t have to let it light up. I let it light up consciously in order to allow the energy to move.
I feel completely confident in myself. I still dont know how to reach people but I no longer worry much about it. As long as I’m able to stand on my two legs, I can dance the way I want, and if people come to join me great, and if they don’t, I’ll just keep dancing
I want to put more of my energy into art. Not art that I intend to sell as a product, just art. Expression. Something that feels true and beautiful or that evokes something in me. I am going to be experimenting with some concepts in the near future, primarily music related but possible also image and word related. I feel like I need to write something like poetry.
Let’s try some stream of consciousness and see what happens: the voices on the screen are deaf to themselves and the pain they inflict. They build their tanks without regard for civilians, their team or another.
I’d love to burn them all but I know where that leads. Instead I light myself a fire and let that fire belong to whoever willingly touches it. That fire is anger and love and all things we choose to be.
One day we will all hold hands and burn as a star, not in the fires of hell but in the fires of a heaven that flickers of our hopes and desires.
- Ok, not bad, maybe it needs a tiny bit of editing and remixing to really hit the spot, but at least I feel some juices flowing again. Looking forward to letting out all these pent up desire and creative destruction.
Love you alll!
And join me on twitch to talk about deep shit while playing RPG games in Japanese :-D