It’s been over two years now.
Two years of saying “no” to people who genuinely wanted me. Two years of pretending I’m okay being alone. Two years of trying to understand why something that once felt so right left me this lost.
People think it’s because I don’t have options. That’s not the truth. The truth is I don’t trust myself anymore in love.
I used to love deeply. Not just love I was obsessed. I gave my all, my time, my energy, my emotions. I made someone my world without even realizing I was losing myself in the process.
And when it ended, it didn’t just end.
It took something from me.
Since then, every time someone tries to come close, I pull away. Not because they’re not good enough, but because I’m scared. Scared I might not know how to love them right. Scared I might hurt them. Or worse!!,lose myself all over again.
So I stay single.
Not because I want to, but because I don’t know how to be anything else right now.
People ask me, “Have you moved on?”
I smile and say yes.
But deep down, I know I’m still standing in the same place, trying to pick up the pieces of a version of me that loved too much.
Lesson:
Don’t fall in love with someone you are obsessed with. Because when that kind of love breaks, it doesn’t just leave it takes your strength to love again with it.
And now, I’m just here. Healing slowly. Learning myself again.
Maybe one day, I’ll find my way back.
