Of late if I am being really honest with myself, the main thing that makes me feel like I’m doing too much is not even physical work… it is definitely overthinking, and when I say overthinking, I don’t mean small small thinking oh, I mean the kind that carries everything on its head and refuses to drop it.
It is actually exhausting, Because tell me why I can have one simple conversation with someone and then replay it in my head like ten different times, I will start asking myself questions like, “
Did I say the right thing? Did they misunderstand me? Should I have just kept quiet? and before I know it, something that lasted five minutes is now taking up hours in my head.
That alone can drain somebody, and the annoying part is that it is not something I even plan to do, It just happens, my mind will just pick one small situation and stretch it like elastic until it becomes something way bigger than it actually is, Sometimes I even start creating scenarios that have not even happened, like preparing for problems that might not even exist.
It makes everything feel heavier than it should be, even when nothing serious is going on, my mind will still find something to hold on to, If it is not about something I said, it is about something I didn’t say,If it’s not about now, it is about the future, If it’s not about the future, it is about something that already happened that I can’t even change again.
So at that point, it starts to feel like I’m doing too much… but it’s all in my head, And that is the scary part.
Because physically, I might just be sitting down, doing nothing stressful, but mentally i am carrying like ten different loads at the same time. It’s like my brain refuses to rest, even when I try to distract myself, it will still find its way back to those same thoughts.
I have realized that overthinking is one of those things that makes you forget your limits, you don’t even know when to stop because it does not look like work, but it drains you like actual work, and before you know it, you are tired, irritated, and mentally checked out all because of thoughts.
Sometimes I wish I could just switch my mind off for a bit, but I am also starting to understand that maybe the answer is not to completely stop thinking because is that even possible?, but to learn how to slow it down, to remind myself that not everything needs deep analysis. Some things can just be what they are.
I’m still figuring that part out, honestly,, but one thing I know for sure is this: overthinking will make you feel like you don’t have enough time, not because time is actually short, but because your mind is too full, and right now, that’s exactly where I am… just trying to clear some space in my head so I can breathe small.
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