A grown man crying all over Tokyo 🥲

So I’m sitting in this cafe that I come to pretty often, just finished my lunch, Ja Ja Miso Rice, a kind of variant on the Chinese dish Zhajiang noodles (炸酱面）and this song comes on that's really nostalgic. “Walking in the Rhythm” by Fishmans, a kind of unique reggae band from Japan, a staple of the underground from the 90’s.

Its not a sad song, but I had to keep wiping the tears from my face. It reminds me of my first few years in Japan and how much I loved the neighborhood I used to live in, a place called Shimokitazawa. It’s still a place with a lot of independent art and music but now it's more well known as a trendy area for young people with a lot of instagramable shops.

For someone like me who fell in love with Tokyo because the local, independent and experimental vibe of many local areas, that one in particular, going there now breaks my heart, but I still go from time to time because one or two of my favorite shops and a few old friends are still there.

I can remember 13 or 14 years ago smoking at the now famous hookah shop that looks like an opium den. It used to make people walking by mistake it for something illegal. Back then it costed $6 for shisha (now it costs $20). I hadn’t planned on becoming a regular there but it was on my way home and the big window allowed the customers and staff to see everyone passing by, so after making two friends there, they’d always pull me in and sometimes treat me.

One day it was already 1 AM and I had been talking so much with a local used clothing seller who imports from Thailand and a dentist from Libya, I had forgotten about dinner. No one else was hungry but someone recommended a curry shop that was a 12 minute walk down the street I used to hang out on, deep into the residential area where there were no other shops.

Fishmans was playing and the owner explained to me their cultural impact and how he had known them and how the singer had passed away a few years earlier.

Fishmans even named their album Uchu Nippon Setagaya (Universe, Japan, Setagaya Ward), Setagaya being the area that Shimokitazawa is located in, so I guess some people there felt a certain kind of pride for this band which had been listed in many “Most influential artists” lists. It's one of those bands most regular people don't know but artists all know.

I could see him getting emotional as he was cooking my food but he smiled because he was happy to share his favorite band with a new person.

Here’s the song I just heard that brought me to tears, you can see there is nothing particularly sad or emotional about it:

It’s just been about 5 years since I’ve heard it and it instantly transported me back to that night when I first heard the band and reminded me of the town that I used to love but no longer feel comfortable in.

I remember the shabby old roofed market which sold vegetables and had a few dilapidated bars in it. One in the corner only had seats for 3 people inside, and may have once been a maintenance closet for the train station next door.

They always set up 4 tables outside in the L shaped intersection of two alleyways and would have DJ parties playing experimental music or tribal sounds or noise or some other deep music that was new to me, and the parties would overflow into the main street after most shops closed.

My first time there was another night at 1 AM when I was on my way home from the other side of the station and I heard a tribal drum beat that I follows directly to the station. 100 people were dancing outside of the train station. A tiny village like area of Tokyo with people who liked to dance wherever they could, and were quick to make friends with anyone who had an interest in their culture. Not anything like the Tokyo that most people know.

That old market area is now a 5-story department store with overpriced coffee and chain stores. There is still music near the station but the police often shut it down, and the old and young people aren’t connected like they used to be. Up until around 10 PM when the chain stores close, the whole street is full of local tourists from other parts of Tokyo who know nothing of what made that area special. They just saw some trendy new shops on TV, youtube or a magazine.

So when i heard that song, I got a bit emotional.

It's really all good, I feel that the death of these beautiful neighborhoods will create the nutrients for future neighborhoods that are even more beautiful and I'd like to think I'm part of that process, a worm, processing ashes into vitamins for some new things to grow. Ew. But yeah, basically that.

Speaking of emotional songs, I have been listening to another song which is absolutely gut wrenchingly beautiful and leaves me nostalgic for another home that only exists in my heart. It feels like it awakens something from before my birth in this body. It’s very intense for me. Like a part of me seems to remember saying goodbye when I came to be born in this realm. Or something like that. It’s a traditional Okinawan song rewritten and then remixed.

The rewritten lyrics (in Okinawan, which I don’t understand) say:

“Today is a beautiful day
It’s even more beautiful than usual
From this day forward let days like this continue”

I just wanted to leave that with you. Hope you enjoy :-)

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