This is a sequel to my previous post about taking my suicidal relative to the emergency room this past Sunday. I was relieved to go home alone, knowing she was safe and in capable hands. I didn't get home until 10 pm, nor to bed until midnight, and I managed to sleep later than usual in the morning.
When I got up at 9:00 a.m. on Monday and turned my cell phone on, I already had two voicemails from my relative. Using the hospital phone, since hers had been put away with her other personal belongings, she told me the place was nothing like the E.R. nurse had described it, that being there was useless, and I should come and get her by 10:00.
First, I called the Behavioral Health office and asked some questions. I was told the psychiatrist would begin his rounds about 10:00. I didn't want to pick her up until after she had seen the psychiatrist. The lady said she would let my relative know I had called, and she could call me back when a phone was available.
Next, I called her counselor and brought him up to speed on recent developments. He was glad I called, and agreed it had been best to leave her there. I was just getting off the phone with him when my relative called back and said she had already seen the doctor and the psychiatrist, and they had agreed to discharge her, and she would be ready in about an hour.
Thanks to all of the telephone calls first thing after I got up, I still hadn't showered or dressed or eaten breakfast. So I did those things before heading back to the hospital. At least it was a sunny day, with no snow or ice on the road. My relative met me at the hospital entrance. I had brought her dog along, and they were delighted to see each other.
Unfortunately, the doctor had prescribed an antidepressant for her after she arrived in the evening, even though she had told several healthcare people there and at the E.R. that she can't take antidepressants. She has been prescribed several different ones over the years, and they just make her more depressed, very angry, and belligerent. They bring out all her worst characteristics and magnify them like the Hubble Telescope magnifies the stars. So she was not in good humor for the ride to my house. We stopped for some fast food on the way, and she soaked in Epsom salts in the bathtub as soon as we got home, hoping to help detox her body from the unwelcome medication. But it took a couple of days to wear off.
I had planned to leave for a visit to my sister's house on Monday, but that plan was made prior to the E.R. visit. Since my relative was discharged already Monday and did not stay for a few days at the hospital, I didn't know what to do about my trip. Should I stay home and keep an eye on her? Should I drive to my sister's house and recharge my inner batteries, as planned? I felt selfish, taking off on a trip and leaving another relative at my house, emotionally upset.
But she wasn't going to be all alone. She was going to stay at my house, where my son and my husband would be around, and could keep an eye on her if necessary. She would have her beloved dog for comfort, and could meet up with friends if she felt up to it. And I was feeling as drained as a water flask on a trek through the Sahara Desert.
So on Tuesday I drove the four hours to my sister's house after all, and have been happily drinking tea, eating cookies, reading books, knitting, and working on a jigsaw puzzle, which are the traditional activities when I visit my sister. My relative has busied herself making Christmas cards and seems to be reasonably cheerful. Her extreme depression had been brought on by words and actions of her ex-boyfriend, and I think she managed to chew him out enough to begin to feel better. She still hasn't completely cut off contact with him, but I hope she does. He has a knack for saying terrible things to her that leave her feeling completely worthless.
But I'm not in charge of her life. She is, and she will have to figure out a lot of things for herself. I have great confidence in her counselor, who is helping her sort out ten years of unpleasant experiences that have lead to her current mental, emotional, and physical condition. I have said all I have to say to her, long ago, and it's time for a professional to take over.
I plan to drive home tomorrow if the roads aren't bad. It has been snowing lightly for ten hours, but is supposed to let up by tomorrow. I am feeling rested now, and ready to go back home and face the realities of life.
