This weekend I am enjoying a mini-retreat all by myself. In a recent post, I wrote about my husband's alcoholism. Al-Anon meetings are proving to be helpful, but I still live in a constant state of tension, wondering when the next big drunken binge is going to happen, whether he will fall down and hurt himself again, whether I will have to call the EMTs again, what his blood sugar level will be this time, whether he will make a huge mess in the bathroom again, etc. It is very difficult to relax and enjoy life, even though I know that's what I need to do. Life just isn't normal anymore, and if this is the "new normal," I don't like it at all.
So when my friend offered me the use of their "non-motorhome," I took her up on it. The engine went out a couple of years ago, but they have it parked in their field and it can still be used for camping right there. It has electricity and a/c, a fridge, microwave, and a propane stove. The bed is comfortable, and the living area is pleasant.
Alas, it is an older vehicle, and other things are giving out besides the engine. This summer they discovered the water pipes are crumbling, so there is no running water in the RV. But there is a spigot nearby, and containers for water, so it's just a little bit more like tent camping than RV camping. I've been heating water on the stove for washing up the dishes and washing up myself. I can exist without a full shower for a couple of days.
It took me an entire day to just decompress. I watched movies, read books, did crossword puzzles, took a nap, and generally relaxed. I didn't have internet access until today because I didn't recognize the tiny router for what it was. (Okay, so I'm still a bit technologically challenged. You can stop laughing now.)
I also went for a drive yesterday, and that's when I came across the field of bison. I didn't know a bison ranch was in the area; the animals are raised for their meat. I had never driven down that particular road before; perhaps I should go exploring more often and see what else I can find!
This evening I suppose I better go home again. I have had my phone turned off most of the time, but I have to turn it on if I want to take a picture. So I have ended up exchanging some texts with my daughter. She reports that Dad threw up in the bathroom sometime last night and left a big mess. She is going to leave it for him to clean up, which is appropriate. I don't really want to go home until he has sobered up and cleaned up the bathroom. But that could be a couple more days. Perhaps I will just stay here a little longer. I'm running out of food, but a grocery store is only a few miles away.
Meanwhile, I will continue to enjoy the solitude, the pleasant view, and the lack of craziness right here in my little nook.
