Every single day we live, we have the tendency of being exposed to the things that may trigger a strong emotion. For example, when cut in traffic, you may feel anger. When a coworker ignores your idea, you may feel hurt. When you face a difficult problem, you may feel anxious. All these are emotions, and they are normal because you are a human. However, there is a big difference between feeling emotions and allowing it to influence and run your entire life. You will be surprised how some people allow their immediate mood to determine their choices, actions, words, and they may end up making the wrong and regrettable choices. To succeed in life, you need to master how to regulate your emotions.
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When something happens, the natural instinct that may come to you is to react on the spot. Like if someone shouts at you, you may want to shout back at them. But sometimes, these instant reactions may not be rational, and they may come with the consequences that you may never anticipate. This is why you have to allow yourself some time to think before you take any decision or action. This is emotional regulation. You will be surprised that the very few seconds you were able to pause may be all that will be required to prevent you from taking regrettable action. More so, it will help you to take back control. That is, you stop being controlled by external events, and become more rational.
You have to understand that you are not your emotions. A very fundamental way to regulate your emotion is to separate it from who you really are. You are not how you feel. Emotions are like the patterns of the weather, which can change quickly. You may go out in the morning and it will be drizzling, but before noon, it will become sunny. This is how emotions behave. This is why you do not have to make a permanent choice based on your temporary feelings or emotions. If you feel a wave of anger for example, do not identify with it, so that it will not become your identity. Instead of saying that you are an "angry person," just say that you are currently feeling anger. This separates your feelings from your identity, so that it will be easier to regulate your emotions.
Each time you are facing heightened emotions, or you are beginning to feel overwhelmed, there are practical steps that can be taken to control it. First take a deep breath, you will discover that you will be calmer. Then try to delay the response you would have given on the spot when you are emotional. If you get a very angry email or text message, do not respond immediately, so that you will not end up putting yourself into trap. Try to take a moment to calm down, and then you will be better to make a good decision. When your emotions settle, you will discover that what you would replied may not have been worth it.
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Being able to regulate your emotions is a competitive advantage in this world. You may not be able to determine what will come your way, nor will you be able to stop offences, but it is within your ability to determine how to react, respond, or act. In moments of intense stress, a lot of people panic, lose their temper, or take irrational steps. In this moment, if you are able to remain calm, think clearly, act logically under pressure, you will become the leader. Even in relationships for example, your partner can act in a certain way, but the way you respond can either destroy or strengthen the relationship. Just one single action that someone takes in the moment of emotions can destroy something that took them years to build.
You should not respond or react the way you feel, but you should put the future into perspective when acting. The thing that made you to act in a certain way may go, but what about the consequences of the actions that you have taken? They may stay afterwards. When you think of all these, you will know if it will be worth it to act in certain way or not, and you will not allow temporary emotions to influence your long-term decisions.
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