While growing up, I had this particular friend, (if I will call her that). The only time she shows her presence was when she needed a favour, and as soon as she gets it, she will be gone into oblivion. Even if you want something to be done for you, she will not be there for you, and will only resurface when she needs something again. At a point, I discovered that this was not a good way to relate with someone - because she was already bringing in parasitism instead of symbiosis, so I had to distant myself from her. The relationship or friendship that is worthwhile is the one that both parties benefit from each other and they help one another to grow, not one person continuously leeching on the other.
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When choosing your friends or your company, you have to understand that they are humans, so as you. And as such, you should limit your expectations of perfection from them. Every human will definitely present with at least one shortcoming, of course this is because no humans is without flaw. However, you have to learn to look beyond this if they are making conscious efforts to get better. When you limit your expectations from people, you will save yourself from disappointment. But this does not mean that you should take "anyhowness" from them.
You should also know that to make the most out of any relationship, you have to also put into it. That is, what you bring to the table is also an indication of what you should take from the table. Do not expect everything to be done to you, but what also are others expecting from you? Have you ever asked yourself what you are contributing towards the success of the friendship? If you go into a relationship simply because you want to draw profits alone, then you are not fulfilling the demands of the friendship. It is funny to see people think that they are doing the other party a favour by being in a relationship with them. Yet, they will not still contribute anything meaningful to the relationship. So who is doing who a favour?
I remember what an acquaintance once told me when she came to me to complain about some aspects of life. She said that she does not have a problem making friends (of course she is very beautiful, so it is expected that people will be attracted to her), but the major problem was that friends are not retained. That is, they leave the same way they came. During the course of my interaction with her, I realized that all she thought she could offer was her fine face and nothing else. I mean, she thinks it will be an honour for people to be in a relationship with her because she is beautiful. Who even goes into a relationship with that kind of mindset?
Well, I had to explain a few things to her and told her that friendship and relationship go way beyond outwards appearance or beauty, sacrifices must be made in order for it to be sustained. Trust me, when your friend discovers that they are the only one making attempts to sustain the friendship while you are only at the receiving end, they will get tired and leave the friendship for you. But when both of you make sacrifices, or have each other's interests at heart, and help each other to grow, then the relationship or friendship will be worthwhile.
You have to understand that to build friendship requires commitment and a lot of sacrifices. Of course, no one will like to be used as "spare tyre" - which is used only when they are needed in emergency. Sometimes you may just need to call your friends, check up on them, come through for them when they need you. So that when it gets to your own turn, they will not have difficulty coming through for you. Trust me, there are some people within your circle that, if they need help today, you can go as far as you can to secure the help for them, simply because of how they have also been good to you. This is what friendship entails.
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The last point to consider that will help one to make the most out of their friendship and relationship with people is that you have to remove entitlement mentality from you. It is true that they are your friend, but they do not owe you anything at all. When you know this, then you will not only limit your expectations, but you will learn to appreciate even their little help towards. Trust me, with the challenges facing a lot of people in life, if someone comes through for you, you should see it as a privilege, and not your right. This is because they too have their own challenges, so learn to appreciate your friends.
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