$0.02 on gates 11 & 12…
These couple define my nodes, so there’s already been a few years of contemplation on them as observing how they’ve played out personally. There are, of course, a vast spectrum of ways any gates can be experienced, and cognitive bias near-always kicks in to limit our perception, so this is but one tiny sliver of experience shared through the lens of Gate 11 of Ideas in south node, Gate 12 of Caution in north node, and from a 6/2 MG - which has definitely been conducive to grokking at least a bit of their polarity dynamic…
“When you share a concept or an awareness in the wrong context or maybe not out of your Strategy & Authority, or when you’re not yet emotionally clear on the full transmission, that expression can be met with resistance, which can shut down the spirit, which can make us turn ourselves off to being open - the channel of openness - to this very unique and sometimes confronting and confusing energy that wants to come through.” ~ Dylan, Gate 12 module
The truth reflected in this hit like a ton of bricks. Though ego doesn’t like admitting it, there’s been some traumatic impact from not exercising Caution - both in communications and actions. Perhaps compounded with the “mid-life crisis” (transits), the last few years have been challenging as observing that ‘shut down of the spirit’ and hypervigilence/self-consciousness around opening up to express, having repeatedly reaped consequences of incorrectly timed sharing & action.
Keeping context in mind: south node representing of where we’ve come from, what comes natural & habitually; north node the direction we have to grow into, that may not come as naturally; and the first three decades of a 6/2’s life involving a lot of trial-and-error… that Gate of IDEAS reigned supreme until roughly age 35. Yep, TONS of Ideas. Plus with an open head center - receptive to inspiration from a full spectrum of directions - and naively acting without much awareness of the actual nature & limitations of time (thanks, deluded self-help “there are no limits” conditioning + ADHD timeblindness), I pursued one idea after another with wreckless abandon, clueless to the repercussions of acting without Caution and Discernment as to where my time & energy actually went. The list of passion-projects started on the highs of emotional waves and abandoned in the lows is long. And though moving so fast that didn’t look back to see what messes may have actually been left in the wake, there eventually came the point of burnout that couldn’t be pushed through as quickly & easily as all the smaller ones along the way. It’s been said 6’s can go onto the roof with a “cynicism,” and this indeed occured as the imbalance towards full-throttle enthusiasm of jumping from Idea to Idea inevitably swung to the opposite polarity once finally forced to face the unsustainability of bypassing the reality that wisely exercising CAUTION is 100% essential.
“The individual emotional wave is the most intense and extreme; it has the highest highs and lowest lows of any of the streams of emotion… so individual emotional spikes can fill us with spiritual energy that make us wanna go ‘blah blah blah blah blah,’ they just want to make us start sharing and expressing and manifesting - not based on clarity, which is a very different feeling than this kind of high we can sometimes get with this stream. When we try to manifest or express from that high, it’s not sustainable, it’s not complete, and it can be quite destructive; it’s like that phoenix flame without any caution, without any restraint. Same thing with the lows. Sometimes we can feel so stuck in low, melancholy and depressed in the lows of this individual wave that we will do anything to manifest or express our way out of that stuck, heavy place - and that as well is not emotional clarity; it is a reaction to an extreme of emotional frequency. So when that happens, we get extreme results.” ~ Dylan, Gate 12 module
Yup. (And add in personality Mercury in Gate 15 of Extremes.) Revisiting the module to hear Dylan’s emphasis on both expression and ‘manifestation’ here is appreciated, as many of the others I’d listened to speaking on gate 12 only addressed the communication side - though in hindsight, it was much more the action of pursuing Ideas that led to the problems (at least consciously.) The “extreme results…” in some ways, I’d gotten so accustomed to living in/with what most people would consider “extremes” that they didn’t seem so at the time; though contemplating outcomes of having been driven more by emotional waves and Gate 11’s IDEAS than actual clarity, there were probably far more than thought. And/or perhaps the massive “extreme results” of a “fall from grace” type breakdown/burnout accompanying coming onto the roof - coinciding with the transition from that south node to north node - occurred with such reality-shattering intensity, it overshadowed all the ‘smaller’ results prior.
But of course, deconditioning doesn’t happen overnight - and some awareness of these dynamics doesn’t equate to instant behaviour change. So despite 5 years into my HD experiment, knowing and observing the dynamic of this polarity at play as finding balance in the larger transition from Gate 11 of IDEAS to Gate 12 of CAUTION, there’s still been many times where Caution has not been exercised. (Most frequently via communications online.) And while it doesn’t always produce “extreme results” externally, the more I’ve become aware, the increasingly extreme they feel internally. Sometimes, it’s like sticking a finger into the damn electrical socket - nervous system frazzled for hours or days, neuroses stirred and inescapable, blatantly exemplifying how far from Peace & Satisfaction some small expression or action taken from an emotional spike veered the ship off-course. In ways, it feels like there was a large amount of leeway, big buffer zone, or grace period, while still in the 3-line phase as a 6/2 - all those ‘missteps’ still part of the trial-and-error learning process from which to gain experience and knowledge; but now… nope. The universe might offer protection from larger outer chaos resulting from misalignments, but the manifestation of an inner hellscape is rapid and unforgiving when frequency distorted through rushing incorrectly.
Having the full 12-22 channel defined with personality moon (yet more emotionality) in 22, creativity has always been a predominant force in my life, whether through music or writing (and entrepreneurial thinking). And it’s here I saw how/where that IDEAS~CAUTION (im)balance reallycame into play, as discovering these principles…
Coming up with IDEAS was never a problem. Executing them, however… ha. Kinda difficult when the stream of new ones was flowing so fast (and didn’t yet actually have the full set of skills required to - including awareness & management of how much time & energy it’d actually take to extract, produce, etc).
Books started to be written, dozens of ideas for articles in queue, hundreds of musical ideas started. It took a great deal of time to see how critically essential the DISCERNMENT is in choosing which to actually pursue. And/or in exercising the CAUTION to restrain myself when drifting off into the Neptunian-boundarylessness of open-head distraction with IDEAS not actually worth the investment. (To note: those matters of “choice” and “worth” are still somewhat a mindtrip - whereas ultimately, it really does come down to correct response and what actually brings / leads to Peace & Satisfacfion… which often turns out to be quite different than what mind would think, choose, or judge “worthy.”)
Though I’d dropped out of university 2nd year, the single biggest takeaway of 1st was from economics 101 with the concept of Opportunity Cost. Though the principle made its impact theoretically, it wasn’t something I embodied - and wasn’t until 15 years later it really started hitting home as contemplating this polarity between my south node Gate 11 of IDEAS and Gate 12 of CAUTION…
Around 180 music IDEAS started (not already sent to the “grave” folder with hundreds more)… to choose to finish any single one comes with the OPPORTUNITY COST of time working on others - and/or new ones, writing projects, (ad)ventures, relationships, travels, or whatever else. It’d be easy to continue that south node habit of starting new IDEAS - but the DISCERNMENT of/and boundaries need to be set (“CAUTION.”) For all the writing ideas in queue… as much as I’ve drastically underestimated the time required to complete even a single one, my design - with north node trajectory in Gate 12 of CAUTION - requires growth in the form of that DISCERNMENT to choose which are actually worth keeping alive & pursuing, and which are better discarded. Just as it also demands slowing down with writing - killing the habit of rushing to discharge emotional energy only to end up with sub-par content neither bringing real satisfaction nor imparting significant value to readers, instead practicing patience as pacing the process of refinement resulting in quality over quantity. IDEAS are cheaply abundant, pulled out of the ass at will; but it is only through the DISCERNMENT of which to nurture/pursue/invest into - implementing CAUTION with awareness of Opportunity Cost and the repercussions of poor/incorrect choices - that a select few can actually come to fruition and amount to something truly worthwhile.
“When we manifest & express from emotional clarity - even if it takes way longer to get there than we were hoping to… if we can repress or restrain the tendency to yak to (mind’s desires for certainty, control, etc), then we have these smooth, powerful waves of activating evolutionary mutative energy that sweep through our environment through us. We become the source, the mouthpiece for the system update that Gaia is bringing to planet earth. And that is of great benefit, relief, and empowerment.”
“So when gate 12 people listen to the emotional authority that they’re beholden to… clarity creates better results and it opens us up to the experience of the spirit that can truly create a lasting mutation and open our hearts & minds to the possibilities of the future of humanity, of our deeper awareness and cognitive potential as beings, and how beautiful and how graceful the universe can be in human form.” ~ Dylan
It’s felt like years since I was there. Despite all the rocky first 6-line phase trial-and-error, there were those periods & moments of correctness in pursuing some things satisfactorily and seemingly making a positive impact… and oh, so fvcking glorious it was. Maybe the reservation of ‘CAUTION’ I’ve been moving into since is in perfect timing despite mind & ego’s preferences for peak-dopamine highs 24/7; ‘on-the-roof’ hermitude serving a recalibration from which something entirely new will emerge, glorious in its own different, more mature ways. Then again, maybe all that logic is part rationalization for staying closed off, shut down, playing small. Maybe both are true to some/different extents. I don’t fvcking know. (Or maybe part of me does - but the rest still too stubbornly compulsive to actually ‘cautiously’ slow down into stillness & silence, where those knowings are to be heard & felt.)
Take what thou wilt from this. Discard the rest of the ‘blah, blah, blah.’
⚡️☯️🐢
💡☯️🛑
🎶☯️⏳
💫☯️🧬
