"If only time could tell what would be the purpose of everything that is given to us, maybe we wouldn't have to feel the achy pain of regrets."
Mid-July when I felt so bored, not doing anything in the house. I opened my phone and searched for the desired jobs that I wanted to try. I opened mynimo.com and indeed.com. I read the descriptions and requirements from one company to another company and sent my resume hoping that one would respond and give me a big break.
It also came upon to me wanting a job and the feeling that I needed to earn when my boyfriend asked to change and we would be heading to some important events. Shocked as I am when I opened my wallet the money left was only 50 pesos. I felt so broke like literally broke that the wallet that I used to bring before would never run dry 馃槀 when I still have a job. Well, this is what I get for deciding to have time for myself to relax.
On that same day, I remembered talking to myself saying "Lord wa na koy kwarta, gae na kog trabaho bi," (Lord, I don't have money, give me a work/job please.), while looking at my wallet almost empty.
It was the 29th of July 2023 when I decided to send an application to a company that I wish would employ me. It didn't cross my mind that out of three or four companies that I sent my resume, one would reply. Days gone and passed by, it became my routine that every night I would randomly send an application to companies because in my mind I needed to work to earn money. Normally it would only take 1-3 days for a company to respond to your application. If you get no response within 1-3 days, that means you are not qualified for the desired position.
Days have gone and passed by, and none of the companies have responded to my application. The 1-3 days rule of the companies to reply to your application has already passed. I already lost hope. I haven't sent any applications anymore to the websites I look into. My boyfriend also asked me if none of those to whom we sent an application has responded. I told him that it's been 3 days none of those companies had emailed me yet. Then he said, "It's okay, you'll be hired soon, just wait for a while maybe."
4th of August 2023, the day never expected, the day that finally among all the companies to whom I sent an application, they responded. It was August 4th when I happened to receive a response with their terms and conditions. And on the same date, I emailed back that I accepted the offer. Since it will only be done for two weeks.
7th of August when the company emailed me that I would have an interview on the 8th of August and would also perform an impromptu demo.
8th of August, I was at the said venue. I felt a little uncomfortable. The fear inside me is kicking. My heart is pounding hard. I felt like I was choked. Feel that fear?馃槄 That for almost 2years, you've never been interviewed personally. I also felt that fear because it was located at the 12F of the building. I never had a fear of heights not until I had experienced what I wrote in my previous post.
The story of how the interview and demo? Well, it went well. I was able to nail it. I was able to please the interviewer. I was able to get the position. The HR asked a few questions about me and she said she would be sending the documents/contract for me to read and sign. I did have a good performance and left a nice impression. I never thought it would be that easy for me to have it.
I also reminisced the day I said "Lord wa na koy kwarta, gae na kog trabaho bi." He answered it in just 7 days. He gave it to me because I asked for it.
Did I mess up the blessing that was given to me? You write it in the comment section after you read the whole story. 馃槄馃槍 Ugh! I have a heavy heart while writing this.
9th of August I asked for the contract because I thought the HR had forgotten to send it. On the same date, she responded and sent me the contract, telling me that I should also include my NBI Certificate, which I haven't, and normally every time I would get the certificate it would take a week because I always got "hit". So I just read the contract and haven't responded to it yet.
10th of August. This was the day I was having a hard time deciding which would I choose, the one that I prayed for (to work) or the offer that I promised to myself (to study and acquire skills).
It was also the 10th of August when the mother of my boyfriend messaged me that there was already an offer that I would be able to proceed with my NCII Certification. It is free and the classes will also start on almost the same date as the job that was offered to me.
I really had a hard time thinking about which would I choose. I was torn between disappointing the one who answered my prayer or myself and or committing to what I promised to myself and remaining penniless.
I asked for opinions, but what really matters is my decision. I really have a hard time making one. I am so weak in making decisions for myself. To what will I choose or what would really please me.
By the way, the work is to be a camp teacher for 2 weeks only. It started from August 22 until September 1.
The NCII training is supposed to be starting from August 23 until the 38 days will be completed.
Based on what you think and what you comprehended. You are right. I chose the one that I promised to myself and I declined the work.
Do I regret it? Maybe a little bit. The NCII class has not yet started. Maybe if I haven't declined it earlier I do have work now or if I have accepted it the NCII class has started.
I don't know. I was thinking of too many possibilities if I had accepted it and I also thank a little for declining.
Possibilities like, what if I am able to please the company and they will hire me as a full-time teacher?
What if there will be a bigger offer that comes ahead after that? What if?
Do I regret? I'm in the middle of yes and no. Yes because I have closed the opportunity that was once opened for me and no because I am not yet sure if I can do it. Maybe I have declined the opportunity but I can say that the blessing was given in another form but not in my hands.
But instead of drowning myself with what-ifs, I'd rather be happy with what I choose. I was the one who made the decision. Thankfully for how many days or months that I don't have a penny in my pocket I am still able to survive.
At the end of the day, if I keep on crying over a spilled milk, it is a complete waste of time. I've already learn my lesson and that's more important take away for this month.
Picking or choosing the right decision is always one of a great big deal on how we are going to succeed or fail in our life.
Life is always unpredictable and it is fair as long as we are going to weigh our decisions properly. Whatever decision was made, all we have to do is accept either it is a consequence or reward.
"Tomorrow's never promised. Always be ready for what comes ahead and always learn to be happy with what you choose and live with it."
If regrets come first? No one would ever make a bad decision and would learn a lesson.
That's a wrap on how I went through with one of the decision-making chapter of my life. Hope you learn something from this. 馃槀馃槄
Thank you for your time reading and sharing my story:). I hope that you are doing great today and always remember to take a time to breath, relax, chill and find peace.:) Until my next blog! 馃槉
Enjoy the rest of your day 馃槉. Ciao <3
