So after like a month, I was able to go out today. It's not like I had a sickness or something that prevents me from going out, I just don't always feel like stepping my foot outside of my room. I used to think I was an ambivert but with the looks of things, I'm seriously leaning towards the introverted side.
Today I had escorted a friend of mine to go buy a new phone and throughout the whole journey, the words that left my mouth wasn't even up to ten. I was troubled with something deep down in my heart but because of the kind of person I am, I'm finding it hard to confide in anyone because I'm usually not the kind of guy who tells his problem to other people especially people I know.
And I know it's kinda stupid because I'm bringing it up here, but I've come to realize that it's easier to talk to complete strangers about your personal problems than it is to talk to people close to you. Because the people you know tend to judge you quickly than those people who don't know you.
Well recently, I've found myself slowly getting lost in depression and I know we tend to mistake mood swings for depression but I'm not mistaking any for anything. I recently invested more than 90% of my portfolio into a business that has totally crumbled and now I'm left with almost nothing.
It's something that still feels like a movie to me and I still can't believe that it happened. I would have looked to go into details but that would just be me relieving the experience and that is the last thing I want to do right now.
Right now, all I can do to avoid myself from going insane is just hope for a better future and put in more work, though as it looks now, I'm totally discouraged from even doing anything and giving up seems like the only thing to do right now but giving up has never been an option and it never will.
I just have to find the courage to keep on fighting, I hope I make it.
