Once upon a time, I used to be a confrontation person. I have written blogs here talking about multiple scenarios where I made sure to confront people (not aggressively) whenever I felt like I had been wronged by them.
And my reason for doing has always been so that we could both find a way to squash out the issue and just move on, and it works. Until I realized that sometimes, having to meet people and talk to them about how certain things they did to you made you feel could sometimes work the opposite way.
Not everyone likes peace, and some people would double down on whatever it was they did to you, rather than apologize, set things straight, and just keep things moving. So in order to avoid that, I had decided to do things differently.
Earlier this year, I had decided to be less confrontational and just choose not to speak about some things these people do. I figured that if I didn't confront anyone about anything, we all could keep things pushing, and there would be no bad blood. Well, I was wrong.
You see, in my quest to search for peace, I had caused some form of war in me. And the reason I say that is because since I started forgiving first and stopped talking to people about some of the wrong things they do, I realized that it has affected me, my state of mind.
Because most times, some of these people don't even realize that what they did rubbed you the wrong kind of way, and seeing how I don't say anything about it, they end up doing it again and again. That is not the kind of life I plan to live, one where people just keep stepping on my toes and talking to me in ways I do not like, and rather than call their attention to it (respectfully, of course), I choose to forgive and move on.
As a matter of fact, I think after a couple of months of having to live this way, I feel I've earned the right to say this. Even when someone apologizes, if you think venting or talking about it with someone will help you ease up and move past whatever that issue is quickly, I'd recommend you do it.
Because sometimes, a simple apology simply isn't enough. Sometimes you do have to speak out to let out that anger so it doesn't stay in you, and you can do all that while remaining respectful and being nonviolent.
