The relief of loneliness
Greetings to all friends of catharsis and hive, first time I write here in catharsis, since I had not had the opportunity, but I think it was my turn to do it.
For a long time, I feel that I have been facing a wall of personal difficulty in learning how to stop feeling alone, even though I am surrounded by people, I always feel the same, I feel that I have no one to lean on, I have tried to seek help without any result, I have been trying to break that wall for a long time, that maybe for many is fantasy, but for me it is very real.
In many occasions I have reflected and tried to change that way of thinking but without achieving the change, I do not know if the method I use is the wrong one or what. In my environment I realize that nobody realizes my mood and even my family, now I decided to ignore that feeling, I do not know if it is good to do, certainly one of the things that led me to this point was to hear everyone and even my family say that I can not live with anyone because supposedly I was conflictive, that I am a person who bores, I am very intense and things like that.
I don't feel depressed at all, but I do feel lonely which is another thing, in many occasions I think it's ok, but in other occasions I feel that I need some kind of support, I don't know if you can give me some kind of advice to use it as a tool to get out of this state of loneliness.
Socially I am very communicative and I think I get out of hand, I tend to bore people by talking a lot and that's why I think many people turn their backs on me. I do not like to be ignored, since I do not ignore anyone, I think it is the worst thing a person can feel and therefore I repudiate that kind of behavior, for me it is very annoying, I am a cordial person and I like to help others without expecting anything in return, but I think that also had as a consequence that people treat me only to receive help from me and not because they like me.
In love, I have had many failures, the truth is that I like that in a couple relationship I like that there is: trust, respect and communication, I think that if any of these 3 is missing the relationship will fail. I am not saying that I am the perfect couple, I am one of those who say that a couple should share the household chores and sometimes the expenses of the outings, I really do not seek to have a service person, but a healthy relationship where both parties feel mutual support, love, respect, trust and that we can count on each other without worrying that they are abusing it.
On many occasions or rather all the time I have to pretend to be complicated so that people do not cause me some kind of psychological damage and yet I have fallen about 4 times in a state of depression, I have had to get out of that situation alone, well I think I have come out of it, the truth is that I don't even know if I have come out or not.
Well I guess that's it for now, if I'm willing to get some advice or help, thanks for taking a little of your time to read my post and thanks to catharsis for giving me the opportunity to vent a little about the way I feel. Thank you all.