My paternal cousin got married four years ago to a lady from another tribe. Before his marriage to this lady, his mother strongly kicked against the marriage, stating that the girl was from another tribe and that she will not accept her as her daughter in-law.
My cousin informed his mother that he will go ahead and do his marriage with or without his mother's approval and blessings. My cousin's mother was so pissed about everything and at the end of the day, she gave in to the marriage between her son and the lady from the other tribe and gave her motherly blessings. My cousin's father did not make a fuss about anything concerning the marriage. He was just calm and happy for his son.
Few months after the marriage between my cousin and his wife from another tribe, his mother decided to visit her son's house. She went there and was always causing trouble in the house. She complained virtually about everything my cousins wife did in the house. She complained that my cousin's wife cooked with lots of meats. She also complained that my cousin's wife did not give her everything she ate. That her son spoilt his wife with so much goodies and his wife refused to share the goodies she was enjoying from her son with her.
She further complained that my cousin's wife dishes little meals for her and never gave her full access to pots of soup.
Later on, my cousin's wife conceived and gave birth to a baby girl. She was angry that my cousin's wife had given birth to a baby girl. Mind you, my cousin happens to be the only son amongst six girls. My cousin's wife conceived the second time and gave birth to another baby girl. When my cousin's mother heard that her daughter in-law had given birth to another baby girl, she made a fuss. She was so angry and reported her to her kins men.
My cousin's mother told her family members including my dad that my cousin's wife was always maltreating her in her son's house and she has refused to give birth to a baby boy. She engineered them that they should all come together as a family and storm my cousin's house in order to unanimously beat my cousin's wife which they claimed will serve as a warning to her. I felt like is this still going on in this time and age?
My dad was fuming at home and I asked him a question. If this happens to your own daughters and you hear about it will you be happy? Then he had a rethink. I told him this is someone else's child you and your family members wants to attack simply because she is married to your one of your sons. He calmed down. I even heard that my cousin's mother accused her daughter in-law of placing her son under a spell. Ridiculous right? I don't know how many good and positive mother in-laws we have out there.
One thing I realized was that my cousin's mother did not experience love in her marriage. Her husband was constantly beating her when they were younger, while she produced more and more children. So seeing her son express love towards his wife was like a strange thing to her. She expected him to always be manly and bossy towards his wife and always be in total control of the home affairs. I wondered if what my cousin's mother had gone through in her husband's house cound contribute to her negative attitude towards her son's wife.
In this part of the world it seems daughter in-laws are supposed to be placed at the mercy of their mother in-laws and this long held ancient ways of doing things needs to be eradicated. Although, most mother in-laws are good but only a few. Let's say on a scale of ten, just one out of ten. It's that bad. Mother in-laws keep pointing accusing fingers toward their daughter in-laws at the slightest provocation.
I am happy that today my cousin's wife just put to birth a baby boy. I wonder what his mother and family will say about this new development. I am beginning to think they will mind their businesses instead of poking their nose into their son's family. But what is with this gender madness. I feel every gender has a role to play in the family and society at large and does not deserve any form of down casting. Be it a male or female child, they are all equal, a child is a child. Traditional people in my part of the world should begin to understand this fact.
Writing is mine. Photo is mine and was taken with my Infinix smart 5 phone camera.