My biological father is in his late 50s but already looking like a man in his 70s. He was a business man who lives in Lagos a big city in Nigeria. He helped his boss to trade palmoil in large drums. They transported the palmoil from a village in Nsit Atai, to the big city of Lagos. He was opportuned to see some good monies at the early age of 20. He thought he should carry his family burden on his shoulders as the first child of his mother. He never thought of acquiring any property of his own or making any positive investment. Each time he came back from Lagos, he will buy lots of food items, clothes and other gifts for all his family members. People even nicknamed him as Obong-akuk, a traditional title given to a wealthy man who throws money around. He always felt like a king each time he arrived in his home town.
One day, someone approached him that he should invest his money in acquiring landed properties for the future. The person even showed him some parcels of land. These lands were so affordable to him, they were like buying ice cream for a child. He refused to purchase those lands and thought to himself that it was not necessary. He went about spending his money on family members. Anybody that had any financial challenge always came to seek his assistance and he gave money to all that came. He always returned to Lagos empty handed and made more money to go back and spend at the village with his relatives.
He finally got married to my mum in the most simplest traditional style which was against the wish of his mother. His mother asked him if he had finished making money for her and his siblings that he is now going after another woman. Each time he makes so much money, he hides it from my mom and takes it to squander with his mother and siblings. He always abandoned my mum from the beginning of the marriage. His only duty was to come.and impregnate mom and abscond to another city. He only returned five months after the birth of his new child.
My mother's family pressured him to take my mum along with him and he finally obliged. My mum left her hawking and farming business which she used in feeding us and followed him to his place of living. She found out that he was squatting in a batcha house built with woods and tapoline. She managed with him and started hawking fruits there too, while we started school. My mum kept giving birth untill we were six in number.
By this time he was no longer doing his oil business again. His master had sold off everything and relocated outside the country. Therefore, he was out of the oil business. He returned to zero. He went to his family seeking for someone to lend him money, but there was none. Everybody turned their back on him. He later started to learn the skill of a mason. He succeeded and started making some money again. He became more secretive. My mom begged him to buy a piece of land and build a house, so that we can live in since the penny she was getting from her hawking business was not enough. My dad refuses. He would rather travel to meet his relatives every time he had money and squandered all of them.
He was always angry about taking responsibility for his children. He beat us up all the time and quarreled with my mom. We all grew up having to struggle at some points in life for ourselves. While he was fond of always collecting from us. He does not have any property of his own. We finally relocated to our State of origin, but we do not live in our village of origin. He and my mom are living as tenants in a rented one room apartment. He now rides a tricycle for commercial purposes. He makes little money but still no one sees the money. He complains that he saves money to repair his tricycle. My mom was later able to acquire a landed property with her money in a remote village. She begged my dad to support her so we could build a house on the land and move in there. He refused and said he wanted to acquire his own land.
Recently, he bought a female piglet and started raising it in a rented space. He reared it until it grew big. The pig could not get pregnant and give birth so he sold it for a very huge amount. My mom asked him to at least give her a little of the money. He refused to give her a dime. He squandered the money in changing parts of his tricycle. He did not even consider his own family. He has neglected us for a very long time and has refused to do anything for his wife or children. Today, he is at home doing nothing and being fed by us and my mother. Our youngest sibling is very angry that my mum cooks and lets him eat her meals everyday. She thinks he doesn't deserve kindness from us, who are his immediate family.
He had a choice to prosper in time but I think he misused it and it ann0ys everyone. He is angry that we are closer to my mom than him. He is now looking for our financial assistance and wanting to have a relationship with us. Can he reap from where he never sowed. He is an example of a failed man. He wasted his youthful resources.
This is Manti Asuquo’s story. She asked me to share it here on Hive.
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Photo is mine and was taken with my Infinix smart 5 phone camera.