My parents would always advise when we were kids that we should avoid arguments and fights; that whenever we're headed that way, we should find a way around to avoid getting in the crossfire. And so I continually tread that path of mind-my-business. But the truth about steering clear wasn't even only about crossfires.
If you have ever seen two people argue so passionately about sports, you probably hardly ever find a winner in such heated discussions. It even gets hotter if it's about their favorite teams. In each person's mind, they are right and "know what they are talking about," whether or not they have facts.
Unconsciously, sometimes they begin a quest to win the other person over to their side—to concede. The reality, however, is that everyone usually returns the same way they came in this type of interaction.
The feeling of realizing one is wrong is hardly pleasant. To say and stand by one thing only to be proven wrong can be humiliating. It is so because, to be proven otherwise, it can sometimes sound like, "You're of low intellectual capabilities." And no one likes to feel that way. Hence, in an argument, each party is usually fighting to death in a bid to protect their intellectual integrity. This is why you can never win an argument.
Say you actually provide undeniable proof of your own argument and are able to debunk the other person's in such a way that is irrefutable, you might very well be able to get them to keep shut, but make no mistake to consider this a win. The other person conceding doesn't exactly mean abdicating their stand. In their minds, they probably still stand by their original argument, and you'd have only made one less friend at best and an enemy at worst. This is why you can never win an argument.
In many ways, we do this. It doesn't have to be a full-blown argument with people shouting at the top of their voices. Perhaps in a conversation with a colleague or friend and they turned out to be totally wrong about something to you, or someone elderly to you, pointing out their flaws and mistakes, especially ever so often, and even turning it into friction between you both isn't the way to go.
Allowing them to save face, especially if it's public, could be a much better move. If need be to actually address anything, it doesn't have to be in the moment, and approaching it constructively and tactfully is wise.
People will always remember how you make them feel, remember. You can't win in an argument. What are your thoughts?
Images in this post belong to me
