The other day I got a job to be a personal bodyguard to this pretty lady:
You should understand that I am a master of people, I literary get people to like me so this was going to be an easy job for me.
OH, how wrong I was....
Getting into this humongous mansion, I was given a picture tablet at the gate to study and be advised when I eventually stand before of the girls dad. Getting closer to the front door, there were a lot of heavily breasted men there all looking for the same spot tiny me wanted to secure:
They all looked like this:
and this was me when compared to them:
Staring down at the picture tablet that was given me, it just dawned on me that my awesome body wouldn't get me this spot. I had to be smart.
I quickly asked one of the less intimidating guys what we were to do with the tablet. He then told me that we are to choose the best character from the pictures to match what the man would want for his daughters head of security.
I must quickly inform you that I settled for FEBRUARY
And my reasons are very potent:
Asides the fact that he is a rather well carved human being... he will obviously scare more with his smile than his muscles. Think about it, the lady wouldn't want me close to her when she attends all her parties, so she will behave herself and stay indoors and attend only the functions her father asks her to, or risk being photographed with a handsome figure like myself.
Ermmmm. did I hear you say congratulations?
I nominate 
