To fear my faithful companion of life I want to say " It's enough".
I want to tell her that I hate her because so many times she stopped me when I could fly.
I want to tell her that I still remember the moment where I saw her first, where we met, where she attacked me and never abandoned me.
I want to thank you for the company and for the constancy it has in being close to me, unlike many, the fear has never left me and maybe it's time for me to leave it.
I want to apologize to her for the times where she was right and I did not pay attention to her, I would have avoided burns and bruises on my heart, but those times I was deaf to her appeals, too used to a "Wolf, Wolf" not to believe her anymore .
Will it be a real enemy or the enwarding birth of my mind? I was wondering..
I want to tell you that I'm sorry I did not recognize her every time I panicked, that I exchanged it for myself when it was just her.
I want to tell you that I'm sorry I did not take it away when it was time, to hold it with even more force, as if it were a lifeline when it was a iron knife instead.
Rusty that infected me while I kept holding it tight.
I would like to apologize for making it a habit, a ritual, morning coffee and the fear of the day, what will scare me today? What gloomy thought will keep me company?
Whose or what will I be afraid of?
I want to tell her that I took our last meetings as a challenge and I want to beat her. I am afraid I am no longer your friend, your lover or companion, we are at the end, we are at loggerheads of our love.
I read somewhere "Do something that scares you every day"
It seemed to me a sign and I will do it, dear fear, every day I will do something that reminds me of you and I will overcome it, until you forget me, until you forget you have even known me, because I will never be the same.
Image taken from: https://pixabay.com/en/woman-despair-fear-helplessness-2924698/
