2023 was a year of loss for me. I broke up with my boyfriend. Not long after that, I lost my mother, it felt like the hardest year for me. I had to lose someone I loved. But, I think this is destiny. Dying is one thing I can't avoid.
In fact, my religion teaches that dying is something I can't change. It has been outlined by God. How do I deal with it? Honestly, there are a few things that I still haven't accepted from the loss, especially the loss of my mother.
But, before answering that, I will answer when I lost my boyfriend. There is a belief that I hold strongly, that I will get someone better than my ex-boyfriend. Although, what is quite difficult is that her character is 90 percent the person I want. But, I am sure, I will get someone even better.
How about losing my parents? It felt like my world was destroyed when my mother died. I had tried so much, and in a short time I got it, my mother died. That's what broke me. Sometimes, I also can't forgive some of my mother's behavior.
But, can't porridge be made back into rice? That proverb also reminds me to be sincere and live my day to the fullest. I still have a younger sister that I need to educate. That is my mother's responsibility and last message. So that I can take care of my younger sister.
By taking care of my younger sister, I feel like I can find my mother again. It feels unfair, I have to lose my mother at a young age. I'm not married yet, I used to think that when I got married I wanted to be accompanied by my mother. But, it turned out that God had other plans. I had to lose my mother.
Almost every day, I pray for my mother. Once in a while I meditate to forgive the incident and accept it completely. That's the only story I can tell. What do you think? See you in the next story.
About Author
My name is Nurdiani Latifah. I live in Jakarta – Indonesia, and after 25 years I live in Bandung. I am a media staff at an NGO in Indonesia. I have worked in this institution for almost 2 years on issues of women and peace. I have been a journalist in Bandung for 3 years.
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